We Need To Stop Judging Each Other Because Neither Of Us Is Perfect

Helen John Helen John in Bakkar. Chai. Sutta on 1 April, 2018

The world we live in now claims to be as sophisticated as it could ever be. People determine humanity and respect, by those few who come to random conclusions and consider themselves as perfect. Some pretend they know how and what it takes to get where you should be. They call you names and categorize you, but this is completely different from who you actually are. Why do we have to abide by some chauvinistic rule with a skewed sense of humanity? We're not here because of them. They have nothing to do with our decisions or what we really do in life. We might be rich or poor, kind or cruel, girl or boy, abandoned or adopted, successful or failure, blessed or cursed, blind or lame, stupid or smart; let it be anything. From the first moment we opened our eyes to the last breath we take, every human being is under the pressure of how they would be accepted by the crowd. Aren't we all the same?

Aren’t we all fighting the same battle? Okay, maybe somewhat the same. Born and buried in the same procedure? We come to and leave the same place. Nobody ends up being born in Mars or Neptune.

Life is cruel. Some people get past it as soon as they realize it. Some choose to fall apart and surround themselves with a huge ocean. It's mandatory that a child once born must go to school no matter what. They are taught different subjects and some that they won’t even remember for a longer period. Honestly, I don't remember what was taught in my social or chemistry class. I don't remember who taught me or how many students were there in my class. I don't remember all the faces, especially cause I had moved from school to school and making new friends came naturally to me. I do remember a few but not all. I don't remember how many books or pencils I owned.

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What is the need of schooling when you know the child is barely going to remember much? What are you trying to teach them? To pass an exam by mugging up random letters and words? Or is it an excuse to get your kids out of the house while you're at work knowing that they are safer at school than at home with a maid? Our whole life is a puzzle.

People need to really open their eyes to see great situations. They need to learn to appreciate one another and make wise decisions in their lives. One needs to motivate rather than demotivate. See the beauty of being alone and being in a crowd. Have a broad mind towards life and humanity. Call for less drama, more respect. People come to you when you're less dramatic. I find people trying so hard to get attention but I can't blame them. Who likes to be alone or go through something that shouldn't happen? Well, guess what. There are 7.5 billion people and not everyone knows your secret. One incident can’t determine who you are or make you hate life so hard. If something makes you uncomfortable, change it. If the place you’re in now, isn’t what you want, explore and embrace the new. You don't like the way they talk to you, then change the way you respond until it makes them respect you for good. I mean what are you waiting for? Someone to beg you to be happy?

Someone to give you everything you want in life? We all have one thing in common and that's being selfish. Very few people dedicate their life helping the ones that are distorted or helpless. God bless them abundantly. Rest, they have no time worrying about your success or failure. Everyone is preoccupied with their own World so stop thinking what they are thinking about you and get your act together. Fitting into this world has been so hard these days mainly cause of people's narrow-mindedness. From childhood, it's always been the grades that matter so much. Literally, how does that matter to you? She failed, yes, she failed, then you say that you think she really needs to put in some effort. She passed, then you say, “congrats, all the best for your future.” Categorizing into different levels of standards at such young ages, by so-called elders. Only if elders didn’t make such a big deal about grades, more children would find their true callings earlier on in life. Next comes the university life, adulthood to be specific. Scholarships. Placements. Girls only college or co-ed? Top ranked or government colleges? Arrears, then he/she must be a clumsy person. How many friends? Car or Bike? Drugs? What more? How does that matter to you, sir? Everyone has a right to choose, they can decide very well how they want to live through phases in life. Everyone has a right to mistakes too, it is not your duty to correct all the time.

Whether they're 20 or 80, their life never depends on your thoughts or how you judge them. Their mind is developed to move at a constant phase. Whatever is meant to be, will happen and they learn from their mistakes to be someone better than they were yesterday.
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Marriage - the only part of my life that intimidates me to dream. So how we decide marriages for kids these days is quite simple. Things like appearance, family status, money, cars, education, salary etc. See this list and tell me it’s right? That's exactly what I mean. Why? How does the money owned by them make you rich? How does the car they own make you any special? How does their appearance make your son or daughter feel loved and respected? Does anything in our matrimonial standard make any sense with logical reasoning? I find it absurd, to say the least. Sometimes it feels like a sin being nice to them because then they assume they have the right to make decisions for you without asking for your opinion. The more you go with the flow without speaking up for yourself, the less importance you get. Sometimes, the people you are closest to, don't even know the person that you really are. As it is, we can't trust anyone even after tying the knot with him/her because there's a door through which they could walk out. It's called divorce. So, tell me how long does it take to trust and love someone, even after knowing that nothing lasts forever?

Most people are not in love, they don’t even know the meaning of love. They are afraid of being alone, so they simply settle for what’s in front of them.

I wish someone attempts to change the mindset of society. The way people think, or act is similar to someone who sits in stall selling slippers. You can't walk without one nor can you leave until you buy the most comfortable one. Why? Because if you walk barefoot, it means you're poor and homeless. Same goes for our life. Take up what the public asks you to or die with the shame tag they’ll put on you. It doesn't matter what dress you wear, what car you drive or how big your house is. It matters how big your heart is and how you could live a happy life, on your own terms. Respect others the way you want them to respect you. If you don't like someone, don't share it with another person, keep it to yourself. Be a better human so that we can raise the next generation to see a better future.

The less you judge, the more you learn to appreciate and live your life to the fullest. We come as a nobody, we leave as a somebody.

More importantly, always remember that you're a beautiful person. You don't need anyone to prove you right or wrong. So, let people fall and learn from their own mistakes because even you were in the same place once upon a time. That's not selfish at all. Acceptance is the purest form of love you could ever give anyone. Cheers!

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