To Everyone Going Through A Heartbreak: This Is How It Feels And It's Okay

Anonymous Anonymous in Bakkar. Chai. Sutta on 25 May, 2017

“A heartbreak isn’t easy to deal with.”  We all have heard this a million times, haven’t we?

For those who have suffered from it know it the best. And for those who haven’t and who don’t believe in it, it is real my friends. As real as it gets for you and mind it, painful too. So what really causes a heartbreak? I can speak on behalf of women but I am sure the reason is the same for all.

The main cause of heartbreak, I believe, is the deviation of your beloved from the path of loving you. That is exactly what broke my heart. 
Advertisement

So what really happens when your heart breaks? The answer to this rhetorical question is that your expectations of that person are shattered and scattered into pieces so tiny that they are beyond mending. These broken expectations start taking a toll on you and eventually all your dreams freeze in time and desires drown in your own anguish.

The grief you undergo, the intensity of pain you feel is real and there is no aid for you. Not even the return of the person who broke your heart can relieve you of this pain. It is you and you alone. No one will understand what you are really going through because the only person who knew the intensity of your love was you and so the extremity of your pain will only be known to you. 

It so happens sometimes that the people we love the most, for whom we would literally do everything in our power hurt us the most. The ones we give most of our time to are the ones unworthy of it because they don’t appreciate our efforts.

Everyone gets 24 hours a day and how much time we choose to devote to that one person tells a lot about how much they mean to you. In return, you are left waiting for the phone calls that never come. For the texts that never pop up on your screen.
Advertisement

You know how much a call or a text from that person makes your heart race. But to them, your missed calls are like spam. They never pick up. They never bother to call back. You keep checking your phone for a single notification from them. And from a hundred messages that you receive, you find only theirs makes your heart race.

But have you ever wondered if they really love you? The answer is no. You are too blinded by your love for them to see their shortcomings. I know I was. You just see the good part. The part where you get a fraction of their attention. That is it. That is the good part but let me tell you that a fraction of attention can be given to a complete stranger too. So where do you stand in all this? Have you ever wondered? No, you haven’t. You will wait for them to exploit you completely.

To drain the last drop of love and affection you have for them and use it to make themselves feel better. You will be dominated by them. It is ironical that love is the most powerful thing in the world and yet the one who loves the most is hurt the most in a relationship. It is that person who is taken for granted and feels dejected. They think we ask too much of them but when one loves truly, all they really ask for is time and love. Both priceless and yet most prized.

And when you are denied both, you ask for them repeatedly. And they are unable to find any time for you, let alone provide love. They disrespect your feelings and disregard your love for them and one day they walk out of your life. They avoid you like you never existed.

Eliminate you like a fly. And to you it feels like a loss so grave that you are unable to forget them.
Advertisement

You try to move on but the trails of past take time to fade away. You miss them every day and you start to lose your patience as the pain of your heartbreak takes a toll on your mind. You fight their memories every day, you cry and when you get tired and your eyes are swollen enough to open, you fall asleep. And then you wake up again to the same misery, to the same pain and this happens for a very long time.

You lose the sense of when the day starts and when the night falls.

But the key to it is, “Don’t give up on yourself”. You didn’t give up on that person and you are better than that person in ways beyond your imagination. So don’t give up on yourself because you need you more than anybody else. Love yourself like you loved them, love your family. 

Take care of yourself, take care of the people around you. The people who actually care for you, who actually love you for the person you are. And eventually the trail of your past will fade away and one day you will wake up to contentment. And all the pain and despair will vanish.

You will find love again, don’t give up on love. You will find someone who will respect you for your individuality and love you with all your flaws. But only if you don’t give up.