Those Who Chose Suicide Were Not As Cowardly As You Thought

Anonymous Anonymous in Bakkar. Chai. Sutta on 17 December, 2017

"Died of Suicide" – isn’t this supposed to be ‘committed’ suicide? I am sure many of you may have already judged my grammar, haven’t you? Stop Judging! Let me explain.

People never commit suicide, they commit “rape”, they commit “murder”, they commit a “crime” but yes, you heard me right, they never commit “suicide”.

Suicide is a mental illness and not a crime hence they die of suicide.
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To begin with, I request you all to stop saying he or she committed suicide because you are wrong; one cannot commit one. No one wants to commit suicide.

It was recently when someone I didn’t know in person died of suicide and I felt broken. I felt broken not because the person left instead, I felt broken because he left so much behind.

When a person dies of suicide he or she never thinks what would happen to their dear ones because they become selfish and try to live in peace forever.

They think that once they are gone, the regular pain they are going through will be over, but they don’t think that when they leave, they give a lifetime of pain to their parents, the ones who love them and several others.

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But are they completely at fault? Think! Think again! Because, I did think about it and realized, "no!"

It’s not just the one who dies who is at fault but even the others around him or her.

Let’s talk straight and get to the point - what are the reasons for someone to die of suicide? A mental illness like depression, bipolar disorder or anxiety, a traumatic experience, bullying, personality disorders, drug addiction or substance abuse, social isolation or loneliness, failed relationships, genetics or family history, which is rare or chronic pain or financial problems.

These are the major reasons why someone would give up their precious life. Have you ever thought; how does suicide take place?

Do they really plan it or is it unplanned?
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Do they ever think what if they were still alive, but with their ribs broken or even worse after several attempts? Do you think they are in a situation to analyze everything around them before they jump to hell, which probably looks like heaven at that moment? No! They are not.

All they want at that moment is to end their life.

“Moment”- yes, it’s just those mini seconds when they don’t see anything around them, they lack help, they lack ears to hear them, they lack the motivation to live; they lack it all.

There is no silver lining of hope they see and that is when they end it all.

But when they are doing that, each and every second before they die, they shout out loud for help! Yes, they do and you cannot deny that.

When I say that they do shout for help, that doesn’t mean they scream on top of their voice and ask to get them out of the hell they are already living in, instead, before they take this major step they always leave hints for others.

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Hints that we fail to identify, which if identified, can save their life.

A person who attempts or thinks about suicide will always try to talk to someone, or will just be extremely silent thinking that someone will approach him/her.

Please make it a point that whenever someone is talking to you on a serious note, just “listen” to them.

You really do not have to reply to them but just hear what they have to say. Believe me, that itself is enough most of the times. You just need to support them irrespective of whether they are right or wrong.

At that moment, they may not want your suggestion; they just want someone to tell them that whatever they are saying is right and they look to you for that support.

I am not saying that you don’t share your opinion, that is important too but only after you’ve convinced the victim enough to live their life the way they want to.

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Chester Bennington from Linkin Park died of suicide recently and all you have to do is go through the lyrics of all his best songs - 'Numb', 'From The Inside', 'In Pieces', 'Waiting for the end', 'Catalyst', etc. All his lyrics clearly shout out the disappointment in his life, his pain and the broken person he was, who wanted to live his way but was living on others’ terms.

Had someone picked up these hints, maybe he would’ve been doing his next album and not left his fans broken and shattered!

This is just one case and I may not be 100% right, but as per my opinion, you will see many such hints given by someone who dies of suicide.

We all need to understand that no one dies of suicide because death seems appealing to him or her but they just want to get over the pain.

The so-called “psychologically” depressed people who try to take their life don’t do so out of hopelessness or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debts do not matter.

A person who feels an unbearable level of invisible agony will kill himself/herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise.

Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their fear of falling from a great height is still as huge as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window while simply checking the view.

The fear of falling remains a constant but the variable here is the other terror, the raging flames. When the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes slightly less terrible of the two horrors.

It’s not their desire to fall; it’s the fear of the flames.

And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’ can understand the jump. Not really.

Those who die of suicide are not cowards. They just need some help and we need to understand that.

If anything said above makes even little sense to you then just make it a point to listen to someone who is trying to say something to you. She/he is talking to you not because they can’t say it to others but because they have faith in you and you are important to them.

Editor's Note:

Share this story now because suicide can be prevented if we listen to people and hear their cry for help in time. If someone wants to talk to you or needs your help, never ignore them because you never know the agony they are experiencing.