Dear Didi, Thank You For Body Shaming Me And Making Me Feel Sad About My Own Body

Anonymous Anonymous in Bakkar. Chai. Sutta on 17 July, 2017

Now I am an 18-year-old girl and still all those words that I heard many years ago, ring in my ears. I have inherited my father’s body type. I hate my body at times, thanks to my cousins and relatives. It all started when I was 6 or 7 years old. I was playing with my cousins. I considered didi as my idol during my childhood days.

Her opinion meant a lot to me. She said that I was going to be a fat girl when I grew up. I felt bad but kept mum.

Us cousins often met during vacations. We had a group of 13 or 14 children playing various games. She never left a chance to mention how fat I was. She used to call me ‘Moti’ and then the others laughed. After a few incidents, my younger cousins also started making fun of me. Once we had a pooja in a temple. All my relatives had to go home together. My younger cousin openly said that she did not want to sit with me. Then didi asked her why she couldn’t adjust with me. She clearly referred to my size. I think you should know that I was NOT fat. I was just healthy and not even chubby.

But since they were all skinny, they openly called me "fat". I was deeply hurt. When we returned home, I didn't talk to anyone and watched TV. Didi came and asked me if I felt bad about what she had said. I didn't say anything.

But instead of apologising she said, “What can I do? I told what I felt.” Something that you don’t realise is that, things you speak without thinking much, affects the other person’s life negatively.

These incidences of humiliation in front of all the cousins made me question myself time and again. What could I do? I was just ten year old by then. All of us cousins met and I was reminded of how fat I was as compared to those skinny people. I used to have violent crying sessions at home getting angry at my father for making me inherit his body type. This was not the end. Then my relatives started comparing me with my sister. I have a wonderful sister who supports me. She is beautiful and looks perfect. They always said how beautiful my sister was and constantly reminded me that I was fat. Then I got to know how it feels to get compared to someone whom you love so much. Now as we all are grownups, we meet lesser.  

Now I am a perfect role model for many because of my intelligence.

But my relatives don’t leave a chance to compare me and my sister on grounds of our physical appearance. I agree I have curves. And I can’t and won’t get rid of them. Even if I starve for 50 days, I will still look the same. There will be prominent collar bones and sunken eyes and no major difference.

The only solace is the love of my life who loves me the way I am. After all this, it was really hard to accept the compliment when someone said that I was beautiful.

I am not even chubby. I have curves and little fat around the tummy which I love. But it took years to get my confidence back. It took years for me to accept myself as I am.

I am just requesting you not to ridicule or humiliate someone because of their physical appearance. It could be genetic.

Author's Note:

Please stop body shaming people and especially children. It affects their confidence and makes them question their self-worth. Not everyone can find themselves again. There are times when I still get highly insecure because of my body. It happens many times out of the blue. That’s all. Thank you for body shaming me and making me feel sad about my own body.