It Has To Be Imperfect And Messy, Just Like True Love

Anonymous Anonymous in Bakkar. Chai. Sutta on 15 February, 2018

Sometimes people don’t understand the simple fact that they can’t fool the same person over and over again. Just because we choose to ignore their gimmicks, doesn’t mean we don’t understand what they are trying to do.

Such people need to understand that others are not fools.

We all understand our own needs. We all have our own reasons to love others.

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And there are many amongst us who don’t need the whole world to be happy and content. Just one person is enough for us.

Sometimes people don’t understand that it isn’t easy to keep some people in our lives. We have to treat them nicely and do special things for them every now and then. We need to take care of them. We also need to deal with their mess. Sometimes we need to wipe their a** repeatedly. And we may never get anything in return for all our effort. Sometimes people may take us for granted or ignore us or make fun of our innocence.

But believe me when I say this – if we truly love them, their casual attitude will never be an issue for us.

The Instagram pictures that we all love to browse through may make us believe in romantic relationships that last forever. However, a real relationship is a lot messier. A real relationship is a full-time job. It is like studying in IIM. We can’t take any timeouts. We can’t say we need a day off. We can’t just turn on the music and do things according to our moods. It is definitely not like all those Disney movies where there are happy endings in all the stories.

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Sometimes we have to accept whatever ending we get. Sometimes we don’t even get an ending. That’s life. It sucks. But we’ll love our life anyway. If we want to be with someone, we just need to be with them. End of story.

Life begins to suck only when we realize our own worth. So we are not ready to lose big time. Even a diamond has to pay the price for shining so brightly. Not many people can afford a diamond. And the life of a diamond is not as beautiful as it looks like on the TBZ website. The actual worth of a diamond is decided by people who cannot see its value. For some people – a diamond is just another stone in their box. Yet, for others, it is a symbol of great achievement.

A diamond may look beautiful – but remember it often lives in solitude. It may be very precious but it always has a price tag. It may shine like the stars but it is actually just carbon.

We may be renowned personalities who shine like brilliant stars. Our name may be worth millions but there comes a time when people unhesitatingly trade us for a single piece of grain.

Sometimes beauty does not lie in the eye of the beholder. Often we may have to shine just for our own sake. Sometimes we will want to shine because we still can shine.
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Often we will lose some people in our lives for no good reason at all. We may lose them forever in a single second. We don’t even get a chance to detach ourselves from that person. It hurts us. It makes us angry. Maybe it also makes us a little sad.

But that is life. There are no instruction manuals for any of us to follow. We make mistakes. We lose despite being very careful. We lose even when the relationship was f*c*ing special to us and we loved it the way it was.

Sometimes people make mistakes even when they are aware of it. They know that they may land up in trouble yet they continue with what they were doing. No one can really understand why they do this or whether they are crazy to do such things etc.

All I can say is – they are sorry about it even if they are unable to admit it openly or even to themselves.

They are burning from within too. They cry when no one is watching. Maybe their tears don’t flow out from their eyes. Maybe they are adept at keeping their emotions bottled up in their hearts.

Maybe some people are tough. Maybe some people are wrong. Maybe we all have our own imperfections. Maybe we will try to perfect our imperfections. Maybe we will be happy with our imperfections. Maybe life will change our perfections into imperfections and imperfections into perfections.

Maybe all we need to realize is we are all imperfect in some way or the other and it is okay if all our relationships are not perfect all the time too. Maybe we will then learn to accept the imperfections of our loved ones. Maybe it is their imperfections that make them so special….

Editor's Note:

How – oh – how we all struggle to accept people the way they are. Why – oh – why do we try so hard to change ourselves and others around us? When –oh –when will we stop trying to do so? Do share this special story because I’m sure it will touch a chord within all of us.