I'm Not At All Sure That You Have A Non-Stupid Understanding Of Love

Yogesh Kedare Yogesh Kedare in Bakkar. Chai. Sutta on 15 March, 2018

Hello there, I am back here with a new topic, which is more relevant to us: our generation. So I would start with a question, this time to. Here we go. Can someone tell me what is love? I am not seeking the meaning that is available in the dictionaries. I want a sensible and meaningful answer to this.

When asked people for an answer to this question, I got the standard reply which goes like this, "I love her/him”. When I ask, “what do you mean by it? No one can give me a satisfying answer. People say, “because I can't live without him/her.” Now tell me lovers, weren't you living your life, before that person came into your life?

I mean I find this too filmy and absurd. All of this runs in our minds due to these daily soaps and movies that we’ve grown up watching, wherein the emphasis is only on relationships, breakups, then makeups, lovey-dovey marriage life and what not. But in reality, the truth is way too different. Here people themselves do not understand love. I have seen people who have been in a relationship for more than 5 years with a person, even upgraded themselves to being engaged to each other and still they are dating other people while managing their engagement on the side.

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Is this love? Do they even understand the meaning of it?

If you were in a relationship, which you wanted to turn into a commitment and turned your entire world upside down to make sure that this hypocritical society and your parents agree to this, then why are you getting into the mess of dating another person simultaneously? This is too filmy and impractical, a way to behave. Another example: there was a girl and a guy, who were like the best of best friends, they would keep talking for hours every day and even after parting could talk for hours on a phone call. Such was their friendship that once when the guy asked the girl out, she said no to the guy saying that “you are very good, but I haven't thought about us like that.” They still remained friends for years after. But then the girl got too busy with her new found friends and she never realized that he had walked out of her life. When she realized it during her engagement, she did everything to get him back. He asked her a simple question, "things were fine for you all this while when I was not there, now suddenly what has happened that you are behind me?” She simply said, "I cannot imagine a life without you.”

He asked her again that day, and she confessed her love for him, but now it was too late, and she was already engaged.

But after that day, until her wedding, they spoke like being one. Their day started with each other and ended with each other. And a month before her marriage, he asked her "why are you getting married to him?" She said "it is a practical decision". After this, the boy developed a strange hatred in his mind, and he would appear as a highly arrogant person in front of others. Here the question arises, if there was love between the two, or the girl truly loved him then she wouldn’t have gotted married to other guy, right?

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And her practical decision was due to the guy’s money and her secured future because of his financial status.

And they said they were in love. What kind of love is this? I did not understand. And there are many more cases where people say “I can't live without you but now I am married to someone else and have a happily ever after types life." What I want to emphasis is that half of us here do not understand what love is, and we believe we know it better than anyone else. And this wrong belief mostly develops a hatred in our hearts as we generalize things very easily and we behave accordingly. In this whole process, we miss out on so much in our lives.

In today’s generation, I see these young 20-22 year old boys and girls saying that they are in a relationship, they say that they are so much in love that their life comes to a halt when they have a breakup, and they live life like there is no meaning to it. I again want to ask the same question to my friends out there, do you even know the meaning of love?

My friend, love is not just simply a word to say, it has a lot of essence behind it. It is commitment, it is the passion to make up your life with your partner, it is a responsibility of both to stand by each other in every walk of life and to grow together keeping aside their egos.

You may quarrel, it is obvious, we are human beings after all. But it is because you love your partner that you step back in the quarrel, and fix it.

I request all these youngsters that in the name of love, please do not ruin your lives. Love doesn't end your life, do not try to end your life for your breakups. For all those who get drowned in emotions, and become Devdas, remember that it is so uncool to become one. Let your movies and daily soaps show this to you, but in reality, it is not done to behave like that. Live is full of challenges and fun if you live every moment of it. All the best.

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