How does a woman in India live with the wet dreams that she gets? In India, a man never seems to be content with his woman. Despite being surrounded by so many women he claims that his fantasies are never fulfilled.

Does a woman have the upper hand when it comes to finding sex easily?

Why then does a woman allow her sexuality to build up and wait in her underwear? Why does she then allow it to go waste in the bathroom? Is she not desperate to fulfill her desires? Why does she have to wait for thirty years for her desires to be satiated?

Why does she have to wait for such a long time for gentle hands to caress her body and for love to pour into her mouth?

Every Indian woman has a body that is desperately yearning for love. Her heart is like a raging volcano of sexual frustration. Unfortunately, she cannot vent it out because magazines like Playboy cannot quench her thirst. Even blowjobs and boobies dominated patriarchal porn fail to do so.

She has to hide her lipstick laden lips under her burkha even when she goes around the city, marketplace and buzzing traffic. She relies only on her make-up and the uniqueness of her attire to remind herself that her body is a land of wonders. But no one is willing to look at it with the passion it deserves.

Her life is like a twisted tale. She is desperate. Her self-confidence is shaky even as she begins her eternal wait for something called an orgasm. There is no lack of horny men.

But often there is no compatibility in the sexual expectations between a man and a woman.

In India, most men define their sexual expectations from the kind of porn that they watch. It’s a small wonder that most of their fantasies are mostly self-centred. They believe that strip teasing; emptying over the face, squirting and the seductive curvature of the a*s will give them the most pleasure.

But they conveniently forget the woman.

For her, the act is a sheer demonstration of manoeuvres. She just has to dispense her duties after which she has to lie awake and watch the man fall asleep even before her business is finished.

And it does not stop here.

The relationships are so ill-defined in India that people do not even take things like sexual sync between partners into consideration.

They are not even aware that this is a big factor that adds to the love quotient of the relationship.

Sex is often seen as the second stage of dating. It mostly happens AFTER the phase of falling in love.

They feel sex is sacred and deserves more attention than love itself.

Hence it becomes tough to ask a man for some kind of emotional connection after intercourse. Somehow she ceases to be his muse or his girlfriend when she gives him her body. And if she gives her body it means she loves him and vice versa.

An Indian man is inexperienced. So it hurts his self-esteem when the woman asks for some romantic space in their life after all their sexual fantasies have been fulfilled.

If a woman is a sexual female who is also looking for love she is damned because she will either be considered as a person or a pu*sy.

I was shocked and horrified when I entered college and realized that female masturbation was the rarest of rare things. A woman is so scared of exploring her own body that she does not even risk discovering her own spots let alone allowing someone else to discover them for her. She is scared to wear the kind of clothes that flatter her curves because she is scared of being labelled with words like “slut”.

So she always reproaches herself and feels guilty because she is taught that dignity is inversely proportional to her desires. This makes her feel lonelier than ever. Her man may love to touch her but he has never cared to touch her in a way that makes her feel loved.

A man sees a woman’s body with a faulty perception. He looks at it as a piece of wondrous art. He does not see it as another half of himself.

The intimacy and lovemaking are often overpowered by aggressiveness because he believes that he should not socialize or learn anything from a woman. There is still a lot of confusion in his mind when it comes to paid sex. The sex education that is given in school is often sketchy and biological. He believes that his manhood is measured by his “size” and doesn’t know how to deal with the taboo of homosexual attraction.

There was this beautiful movie called ‘Masaan’ where a famous dialogue compares life to a condom. Our lives could not have been described more accurately.

Life is just a temporary affair that we all pursue for that one moment of overwhelming happiness.

And till then, a woman sadly continues being dutiful as she goes about pouring her energies into others without asking for any acknowledgement. Virginia Woolf rightly said, “For most of history, anonymous was a woman who always makes art without asking for recognition. She always thinks that since this is about her, it must obviously come second.”

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