I Am Over 25 Years Old So It Is Everyone's Birthright To Ask Me When I Plan To 'Settle Down'

Anonymous Anonymous in Bakkar. Chai. Sutta on 28 April, 2018

Here comes another story from me on this platform. A regular day at work, keyboard sounds all around, people busy in negotiations and then somebody cracks a joke. The joke was about somebody getting married, well obviously we were startled because it was a common friend me and my colleague were talking about, someone that we had doubted would ever be getting married. And from a corner of the office, another colleague of mine shouted, “uski bhi shaadi ho gayi, tu kab karegi?” Karma and colleagues work hand in hand. To my surprise, I wasn’t surprised by his question at all! Because lately, I have been facing this question from a lot of people around me, people who are supposedly concerned about me (or just judgmental, maybe?). Anyways, coming back to the point, my question to everyone around me is, how is my being married or not being married affecting their life at all?

Why are we so judgmental, about women specially that once a woman crosses 25 years of age, it becomes everyone's birth right to question when are we getting married?

Or let me rephrase it, when are we settling down? Seriously? What makes them think that we are not settled already even if we are not married? I am doing well in my life. I am taking care of the family I was born in. We are living happily. I work, travel, ride, write. What gives anyone even a hint that I am not settled? Because to me being settled is being contented and at peace where you are and with what you have. And according to me, I am at my happy place even without being married. I don’t seem to understand how is that a trouble for anyone else? Am I asking them to pay my bills?

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Forget about relatives or elderly people asking you about not being settled, there is one more drawback of being single at such a age – the men.

Well, not all but most of them have a certain mindset and they think that you are available. Exactly what makes them think we are available? Unfortunately, we are in a country where there is a monopoly of men at workplaces, which makes us more open to communicating and we are not hesitant in talking to them. But just because we are expressive doesn’t mean we are available for anything. How do we change this? Anyways, coming back to where I was, at some point in life, I might decide to get married, especially when I am mentally prepared. Or I may decide never to marry at all. Only time will tell what I want from life but that should not be of any concern to anyone else apart from the people I love.

I have no idea when we will come out of this mentality or if we will at all, but if this piece of writing is able to change even a single mind, it is totally worth it.
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