Indian Society open letter daughter-in-law patriarchy indian family unpopular opinion

Dear Mother-In-Law, I’m Not Your Enemy. So Stop Treating Me Like One.

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I am from a small town in Bihar. From all the conservatives family around, mine is a liberal family with no difference between a boy and a girl. In fact, I was pampered more than my brother. That gave me a tomboy type of attitude. I do care about my elders and traditions but to the extent that it is not hurting my values.

If a certain thing is bothering, I take no time in ruling it out by discussion or whatever it takes.

Well, I am married now and I still carry these attributes and since my mother-in-law is not my mother, though I wanted her to be, she cannot understand my feelings. We encounter discussions every now and then. Sometimes I become rigid on not following some tradition because I believe the traditions should be for the male members as well.

My mother-in-law is very caring and sweet in front of his son but on his back, her face becomes like a rotten potato.

I don't want to discriminate between my mother and her. But my mother is a genuine and a very sweet lady who always tries to provide the best possible gifts to my husband's family. But instead of compliments, they receive a rejection. On the other hand, my mother-in-law is a very cunning lady who has an eye on everything whether its related to our accounts or household or not only ours but everybody's personal matter. I don't know how to react as sometimes I cannot control my outburst.

To my mother-in-law:

a) Mom just like your child, I too have the same value because my mother suffered the same pain. But because of society, you are a little lucky as you have a son.

b) I too fall ill like your son. The extent of care you show for him was once shown by my parents when I was at my home.

c) You can change my food habits but I will eat what I want.

d) I am pregnant and I can take care of my child more than anyone else. Why is your affection in terms of feeding me with nutrition only? Why can’t you can't see my mood swings? Oh, I forgot you are not my mom and you can never see my tears.

e) Please, I want to get over all your tantrums because I know them all. And for god sake, stop your politics right away.

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