Dear Mira Rajput, Not All Of Us Have The Luxury To Follow Our Dreams Whenever We Feel Like

Rajashree D Purkayastha Rajashree D Purkayastha in Bakkar. Chai. Sutta on 12 March, 2017

Congrats and welcome to Motherhood dear Mira!

You have responsibilities towards your daughter; that’s quite natural; but does that give you a right to demean the sentiments of working women? NO! You will raise your baby as a baby and of course we?

I’m a mother and I don’t have the heart to compare any human baby to a puppy; be it mine or someone else's! Though puppies are babies too. So are you telling me that a working mom raises puppies? How disrespectful is that! I understand postpartum blues take over every parent but not up to that extent that you make such an analogous comparison. I'd like to mention that puppies also need attention for they are babies too.

Even a dog who's a mother gives affection and love to her little one but perhaps they don't know to differentiate and make comparisons to find out who's affection is superior.
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When we adopted a Labrador puppy when my hubby insisted, it was then that I had just qualified for my GATE exam and was making preparations for NET. She was only 43 days old and I didn’t have the heart to leave her on her own all the time. I was a homemaker then, aspiring to make my career in Biotechnology, but chose to give my undivided attention to that baby for first 6 months at least.

What happened next in my career is a different story. But I believe that people who genuinely adopt pets care about them no less than their baby.

When my daughter was born I took a sabbatical because ours is a nuclear family and our aged parents couldn’t accompany us during that journey. I know how every mom desires to be with her baby, some get the opportunity while others do not — be it choice or circumstances; we can’t judge but must respect every mother. Every mom tries her best to do good for her kids; either being at home or going for work and then spending some valuable time with her kids.

You also talked about empowerment that’s inspiring and of course, you should feel pride in being a homemaker. But you are not empowered enough to say that working mothers raise their babies as puppies. You are not empowered to demean working women to feel pride in your niche in being a wife of a celebrity.

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You said you have enough time to plan your career later; yes you could materialize your dreams but everybody doesn't have that luxury to do that.

I returned to work after a sabbatical and I know how difficult it is to get back to a job after a hiatus; even if one gets a job, she might be questioned about the gap no matter how good a career graph she had. That sabbatical makes a difference in the job profile too. And most times people don't get a second chance! So let's respect the choice of those women who are opting to stick to their work; that doesn't make them irresponsible.

You are not empowered to create more chaos for women to say who’s better? "A stay–at-home mom or a working mom."

You are free to work or not work. But you have no right to demean working mothers who have to juggle their careers and motherhood. There are many reasons why a mother works — she may be her parents' only support, she could be a single parent, she may have dreams of creating an identity for herself. She maybe another support system for her in-laws.

One never knows when life might turn unfortunate, at least a working mom can be prepared.
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The majority of the women population in India don't have the luxury to paint their cheeks and deck themselves up like dolls and then spend time with their babies. You don't know how tough and difficult it gets when a mom leaves her baby back at home or a creche and goes out for work. Life is not easy for a mother working from home either.

I wish you could have taken advantage of your celebrity status and made an appeal that more offices could provide a creche facility and more women could be working; while staying closer to their babies. All mothers try to give their best; like every baby, every mother and her love are special. Nothing can be ruder or unwise to demean a mother's love only to prove how good a mother you are.

Every mother is working; be at home or at work, no mom can give 24/7 time to her baby; she has other responsibilities too. So let's respect all moms and support each other. We are bestowed with the greatest responsibility of nurturing a baby into a sensible human being and to perform our task at best. But first, we need to be sensible. 

Lots of Love,

Rajashree (Working mom now, but was a stay-at-home mom once).

Here's a response to this open letter by another 'nobody': Dear Mira Haters: She's Shahid Kapoor's Wife And She's CHOOSING To Be A Stay-At-Home Mom.