I Love Him So I Wait For Him. He Loves Me So He Has To Return. It’s That Simple.

Debasmita Sharma Debasmita Sharma in Stolen Diaries on 7 April, 2018

Sana ran down the hill. She knew she would be breathless by the time she reached there. The road was just a few minutes away from her village.

But she couldn’t afford to be late. She was never late. She knew she would never be late either. She loved someone with all her heart. She had promised him something and she had to keep her promise.

She landed abruptly on her feet. The dust swirled in the breeze and blinded her eyes momentarily. She rubbed the dust out of her eyes quickly. She then stared at the road ahead fixedly. The sun was ready to go down beyond the horizon. Her heart skipped a couple of beats.

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Would this evening be the same as other evenings? Would the approaching darkness drown her only ray of hope? Was she going to lose a part of her soul yet again?

So many questions clouded her mind. Often her mind would also question her faith in her own utopia. This faith that she had in their love was the only reason for her existence now. But she firmly brushed aside all these questions that haunted her mind.

She chose to follow her heart instead which was doing its best to protect all the castles that she had built in the air.

The sun went down. Sana could feel her heart breaking. Every day when the sun rose it would bring new aspirations into her life. And every day when the sunset all her aspirations would be dashed to smithereens. She would then carefully pick up all her aspirations with all the courage that she mustered within herself again and continue to hope. But even she knew that all her courage was fading with time.

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But when a new morning dawned she somehow found the courage to keep up her faith in her love again.

Every morning she would tell herself that she was a day closer to meeting him.

Major Dalbir Singh had turned 28 just a month back. His parents had been forcing him to get married. The village in which he lived had only twenty houses. And the entire village had been overjoyed when Dalbir Singh became an army officer. Such things happened only occasionally in their village. So it was a proud moment for the entire village when Dalbir Singh was commissioned in the Indian Army. His father who had been a Subedar in the Indian army stood straight with utmost pride when Dalbir Singh participated in the passing out parade. He had never dreamt that his son would become an officer one fine day. But he realized that all this was true when his son ran towards him after the parade and hugged him tightly.

Dalbir had never really wanted to get married. But when he saw his mother’s poor health he started thinking. He knew his wife would be her only hope when he was away from them for long periods of time. The situation between the two countries was quite heated. There was a clear indication of a war in the future. And he knew this war would keep him away for a very long time. “Bir.” His father addressed him as they sat down for dinner.

“Hanji Papa," said Dalbir.

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His father said, "We have chosen this girl for you." His father took a bite of his roti. “We have fixed the engagement for the day after tomorrow.”

Dalbir just said, "Whatever you think right papa.”

His father then said, “Would you like to meet her?”

Dalbir said, “No papa. Your choice is good enough for me.”

And indeed his father's choice was the best one for him. A very beautiful eighteen-year-old girl sat before him. She was the daughter of his neighbour. She was wearing a yellow kurti which complemented her porcelain skin perfectly. The green chunri which covered her head enhanced her enticing beauty. Her long black hair was neatly arranged in a plait and rested on her shoulder. She was looking downwards. He was desperate to see her face. Her flushed cheeks added a tinge of redness to her glowing skin. He tried to visualize her face and this gave him goosebumps. His heart started beating faster.

“Sana.” Her mother called out to her. She looked up. And Dalbir knew that she looked exactly like the girl he had visualized a few minutes back. Her saccharine sweet lips curved upwards into an alluring smile. His heart melted. Her name was so apt for her beauty. It suited her perfectly. She was truly enchanting to look at.

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He was finding it difficult to believe that this soul had been created for him.

Sana could feel her heart collapse. The letter had arrived by the morning post. She held it in her hand. She badly wished to throw it away. But she knew she couldn’t do so. She was helpless. Dalbir wrapped his arms around her. He pulled her closer to him. She clutched the letter harder in her hand. She knew that this letter was going to take those loving arms away from her. She tried hard to control herself. But her tears betrayed her and ran down her cheeks.

The mirror reflected Sana's facial expressions to him. He looked at her and said, "Sana, what happened?" He turned her around. He was worried. After all, he had taken an oath that he would destroy anything that made the love of his life cry. But the army seal on the letter which was still in her hand broke his heart.

This was one thing that he could not destroy.

He opened the letter. Sana could see the pain in his eyes. She sat down on the bed. That was all she could do. Think and rethink. When do you leave for Kashmir? Her voice was breaking and this broke him from within.

“Sana….”

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“When d….do…yo….you leave?” She was stumbling over her words.

“The day after….”

Sana reached the road on time. He was still there. He was standing there with his trunk beside him. The gypsy that was going to pick him up was delayed and that had helped her breathe a little. She wanted to apologize for not talking to him. She wanted to tell him that she had not meant all those mean things when she had screamed at him. She wanted to tell him that this was just her way of stopping him from going to Kashmir. She wanted to take back all her words.

Dalbir held her tightly in her arms. He wanted to stay but he couldn’t.

“You don’t love me, Major Sahab.” He was a man of immense strength but her tears weakened him. He cupped her face in his palms and stared straight into her eyes. “I cannot tell you whether I fell in love with you when I saw you for the first, second or third time.”

“But I can tell you that I love you immensely and always will. I will return for you Sana. Will you wait for me?”

He kissed her gently on her lips. And for the very first time, he let his tears flow. He wanted her to see how much she meant to him. He wanted her to know how desperately he wanted to stay with her too. Sana wiped his tears away. She ran her fingers on the emblem of his turban.

The world ceased to exist for a moment. It was their moment of love. “I will wait for you right here Major Sahab…..even if it takes you forever.”
Editor's Note:

Perhaps love and duty are two sides of the same coin called life. Perhaps it is our duty to take care of our loved ones. So we sacrifice the best years of our life for them. We feel satisfied when they live in comfort and with pride and dignity in their hearts. Do share this story because more often than not we all just have to do our duty despite the compromises that we are forced to make in our lives.