I Had Run Away From Home When I Met Rohini: What She Said To Me Changed My Life

Anonymous Anonymous in Stolen Diaries on 19 June, 2017

They are kissing passionately while I walk past them trying not to make them awkward. They hear me, open their eyes and jolt back like I am a threat to their life. I make my way to a rock close by and sit there pretending not to notice the discomfort. The guy stands up and leaves. The lady stays. I sigh.

I had run away from my house without any security because of family issues and spent most of my time in a strange city meeting new people and talking to them. Life is hard when you’re on your own at the age of 15. No matter how messed up life seems, you always need people around you who care about you. I had given up on my people and had decided that I was better off alone. I missed my family and friends but there was no going back.

There was something different about this lady, I realised the person was a transgender. She smiles at me and I smile back politely. She walks up to me and sits down beside me. As a kid I was told they were ‘bad people’ but there was something different about her smile, it wasn’t fake like the ones I saw plastered to people’s faces every day.
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“Hi,” she says sitting next to me.

“Hey,” I smile.

“What’s your name?”

“M… Misty.”

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“What are you doing here on a Monday afternoon, Misty?”

I was really scared to answer that question because no one knew I had run away and come here. I felt I had offended her in some way. "Don’t worry I’m used to this kind of a reaction, my name is Rohini.”

“You speak English quite fluently. I’m scared to talk to anyone here, it’s nothing to do with how you are,” I mentally slapped myself for that sentence.

“How I am?”

“You are not like regular people you know… you are different… in a good way obviously.”

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“I am a regular person. There are fewer people of my kind,” she laughs.

I smiled. I finally felt comfortable talking to her.

“I am here to look at the sunset. The view from here is breathtaking.”

“Where do you stay,” she asks trying to hold up the conversation.

“I am not from here…” I stop wondering if I am giving too much away.

“Oh?”

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“I have actually left my house and come here to be by myself. I just think I don’t fit in.”

“And why do you think it’s important to fit in?”

“Isn’t that how society works? Like-minded people come together and form social circles.”

“You saw the guy I was with?”

“Yeah,” I break the eye contact, embarrassed.

“My parents threw me out of the house when they found out about my sexuality three years ago. I had no place to go. I started begging at signals and sleeping on the streets. I could hardly afford two meals a day and then I met Hari one day, he wasn’t very rich but he understood me and stood by me through whatever life threw my way and more importantly he accepted me for who I am."

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“What if he leaves you?”

“He won’t,” she secretly smiled to herself before speaking again, “I will respect his decision. Sure I will be heartbroken but I won’t be the person I was three years ago.”

“You are a wonderful person,” I smile genuinely this time.

“Misty, here is a piece of advice from me… what you’re doing is running away from the situation hoping for it to get better which never happens. You’re too young to be living on your own. Until and unless you don’t accept yourself completely you won’t be at peace. You have to love yourself first for others to love you. Try to face the situation no matter how bad it seems. It won’t be easy but it’ll all be worth in the end.”

She offered me to stay with her little family till I was ready to go back but I declined politely. I knew it was hard enough for her to take care of her family by working in a garment factory. We bid each other goodbye after watching the sunset together. I gave her the tightest hug when I was leaving.

I am 19 today, no contact whatsoever with Rohini. I did come back home to see a bigger mess than what I had left behind but it all got better eventually like Rohini had said.