I Don't Want Someone Like You, I Want YOU

Mohd Shariq Habib Mohd Shariq Habib in Stolen Diaries on 25 November, 2017

The first time you fall in love, it changes you forever. And no matter how hard you try, you just can’t feel like this every again in your lift.

From the moment you left, a part of my soul died. I lost everything. I cried for days, months and more. I tried apologizing, but nothing could convince you to come back to me. Every night, I’ve thought about you and every night I wonder, was I not even worth a second chance? At least for the sake of our friendship?

Did I really deserve this?

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Just because of some unintentional and impulsive mistakes that I made when I was in a vulnerable condition? Or is it entirely something different? I know that I’m not perfect, but it took nothing more than a blink of an eye for all that I did for you to vanish? It wasn’t always this bad between us, I know you remember this. But now, we aren’t friends anymore and it’s been four years since we’ve spoken.

All this time has passed, but I still remember your face, when I saw it for the first time. Sometimes I feel like it was only just yesterday. No matter what I’ve been through all along, you should know that I still love you; with my heart and soul. Nothing has or will stop me from loving you.

I never knew that I would meet someone who would matter to me like this. That a simple memory of theirs would become such a close companion to my thoughts. You aren’t just someone I love, you were my best friend, the best version of me, my destination. After you left, nothing has been the same.

The few times we’ve had a conversation, I’ve always had this hope, that things will go back to how they’re supposed to be. I wish there’s a way our hearts and lives can be together, blend together, forever. But today, we’re only strangers. And deep in my heart, I know that day will never come when instead of being filled with regrets and your memories, I’ll look ahead and move on.
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I wish I could tell you that it’s not going to be easy, it’s going to be an uphill journey, but we can do this, as long as we have each other. But I know that that’s not what you want.

I gave you the best of me, but unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. You’re the first thought I have when I wake up, and the last, before I sleep.

I wonder if you still think about me? If you do, just remember that I love you. And maybe, in another life, our paths wouldn’t have just crossed, but stayed intertwined and lead to the same destination.

Because I know that I don’t want someone like you, I want you.

 

Editor's Note:

Share this story, because we all have a special memory of our first love.