I Deeply Cared For Her For A Decade While She Only Considered Me As An Option
It all started in 2009 when I saw this beautiful girl carrying a hand full of bags on an overbridge at the railway station where she and I were waiting for the train. I can still remember she was wearing a black shirt with grey trouser along with the mystique smile on her face.
As she started coming down to the platform, I intervened and said, “may I help you with the bags?” she happily agreed and handed over me all the bags. I was surprised by the way she reacted, and we continued our talking, I never felt ever before for a person who was a stranger a few moments ago and will turn out to become important for me.
For me, it was love at first sight, but destiny had something else stored for us. We never thought we could pull this far in our lives and the way we will be ending our friendship will turn out to be a nightmare.
Well, I must say I was the one who was in love with her and, she never confessed her feelings to me at all. You can call me naïve for understanding her friendly gestures as love. It won’t be wrong to say we men are imprudent. We comprehend the gentle nature of opposite gender as love.
Did I say, I realised this after a decade when our days were unfinished without speaking to each other for hours. We were together all the time; no matter what. I keep wondering, does this happen with everyone who falls apart after being in love for a decade and you get no recognition of your feelings but instead end up realizing you were an option in their life?
I don’t know how or what I should have done to keep her in my life. I don’t know if keeping our arrangement as is, would have made any difference between us.
From the day I confessed my feelings to her, I struggled within as I failed to convince her as I loved her deeply. I know I did cross my line of not being a true friend of hers and did turn myself away while she struggled in her life. My only mistake was to see her smiling, and thinking of pulling her out of the loveless marriage.
I believed in giving our lives a second chance, but I failed to realise she was confined by her dad’s promise. I believe she too will be struggling to cope up with this goodbye, or it’s again me overthinking about her feeling the same way. Sometimes we’re not meant to be together with the one we love.
Our role ends without a happy ending; an ending which we’ve dreamt of living. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and change everything, but I cannot. I also wish she browses this page one day and realises how much she meant to me in my life, and I won’t be around that day to hear her story. How her life turned out to be without me.
However, I know she had one less man to love her in this life, and she will accept this. One last wish I want to ask for is don’t leave me dry (loveless) in the next life, when I’ll be reborn to love & be loved. Eight months and thirteen days, since we’ve spoken to each other. Two years four months and eight days since we’ve seen each other. Three years, six months and ten days since I confessed my feelings to you for the first time and last time held your hand. Please feel free to drop your comments below if you like this article.