How Your Love And Betrayal Left Me Feeling Indifferent, About Everything

Jyoti Jyoti in Stolen Diaries on 16 August, 2017

Easily fooled. Easily Broken. Easily convinced. All of these, are me when I put my guard down.

And put my guard down, is what I did, for you.

While you entered my carefully protected world and shattered every piece of me from within.

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I remember the day we first began talking. I had no intentions of falling for you.

I protected myself, from feeling anything for you.

You said, “I think I’m falling in love with you.”
“I love talking to you.”
And soon, “I love you.”

That rush of emotions: from joy to excitement, happiness, everything; I experienced it all in one moment.
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And just like that, my walls crumbled, for you.
This, of course, didn’t last for even a few days.
One day, you called and said, “I don’t think I can ever love someone, I’m sorry.”

I tried to convince you; but instead, you told me, that a broken heart can’t love again.

I couldn’t breathe.
“But you once said that you loved me.”
All you could say was,
“Don’t start this emotional drama again.”
I was a fool.

I should have left you and broken us then and there.

But instead, I chose to try harder.

I suffered, alone, for two years.
I never told anyone about us.

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About your betrayal.
About this game, you played with me.
But my love for you, it stopped me from saying anything about you.

Finally, one day, it was time for me to stand up for myself.

I cut you out of my life, without saying, “Goodbye”.

A few days later, you realized that I was missing and asked me if my love for you had changed to hate.

All I could say was, “That’s the only thing I can’t seem to do.”

Nine months ago, that was the last conversation we had.

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I don’t hate you, but I’m indifferent.
After you left, rather, I left you, I’m a different person.

My walls are back up.

I’m indifferent to everything and everyone.
I don’t cry anymore.
I don’t care anymore.
I don’t share anything about my life with anyone.

I’ve shut out all those people who once told me that they cared for me.
Editor's Note:

Share this poem, if you've ever broken down your walls for someone and are now wondering, where you went wrong. Just remember, to hold on, don't push away the ones who care.