ONE.    Lavanya: What will I do without you for the next seven days? Please don’t go no. How does it really matter? You guys don’t want to stay with each other or let me correct myself, you don’t want to stay with her and you are leaving me for one week, Really?

Kush: This always happens with you. I have been telling you that I will be going on this day but you have started your drama again. Stop being so dramatic, I have to go and it’s not because of her I am going to my parent's place and he left.

Lavanya remained silent for the next two minutes and then her eyes filled up with water and when she heard the voice of Kush’s car, she ran towards the door so that she could say bye to him. After all she loved him, but he left. She was feeling insane pain in her heart. She was willing to shout, scream much louder as she could but something was stopping her.

You know we all have experienced heartbreak in our lives. Heartbreak means the one in which we cry hard, we feel like puking when we feel shit that one person becomes the world to us.

Lavanya, headed towards her room and decided that this is the point she needs to take a stand for herself as no one will take a stand for her.

She was feeling so heartbroken that she couldn't control her tears that day and unbeatable thoughts were running in her mind. “Kush can stay without me, he doesn’t need me anymore and I am the one who is so emotionally attached with him, is this my mistake that I thought every person who falls in love will think and feel in the same way as I did? But, Why me?"

On the other side, Kush was driving and heading towards his hometown along with his wife and his baby. Kush (in his mind while driving): I don’t know what is happening to Lavanya why has she started behaving like this, is she doing this all knowingly? She is behaving insanely. Now, this one week she will make my life hell. God! I can’t take this anymore.

He saw towards his baby and focused on his driving and headed towards his destination.

TWO.  Kush calling Lavanya, Phone ringing … Lavanya staring towards her phone: I am not going to pick up his call why should I? Lavanya had a habit of writing a diary and she used to mention each and every detail about her daily activities but today she was just sitting and was reading her old days writing. Her old memories and what she pens down about herself and her feelings.

Three years ago … Kush on phone: Lavanya I love you. I will make every possible effort to bring you into life though I am married to someone else but after meeting you, I realize what love is and what pain is. I never felt like this before. I will fulfill every dream of mine with you.

Lavanya: Are you sure Kush? You will never leave me no, shall I trust on this. Kush: Yes baby, just give me some time, I will make this happen. I know this is not going to be an easy path but we will make this happen. Will you be on my side on this journey? Lavanya: Yes baby I will be always on your side, you will always find me on your side no matter what happens.

Present-day … While reading this conversation Lavanya realized her cell was ringing. She picked up and it was Kush. Kush: I reached, where were you, I was calling you? Lavanya: I was in the kitchen didn’t see your call (she knew she missed it knowingly).  Kush: Still your mood is the same. Are you okay? Don’t be upset. You know I have to come here, there was no other option don’t spoil your mood. Lavanya: No I am okay, and hmmm I understand. Call ended.

THREE. The whole night Lavanya was thinking that she is missing him, she tried to watch a movie but she couldn’t concentrate, she tried to paint something to see if she could draw something but again she failed to concentrate on the same. 12:00 AM: (Thoughts running in Lavanya mind) This happens with all the people who fall in love or it was my mistake to trust a person who was already married?

But as per him, he was not happy with her. But what about her baby? His wife got pregnant while you were in his life.  No no, we broke up at that time. So what? Only for one month, you guys were not in touch but love? Did it vanish fully? Remember yourself, you were trying to move on but was unable to, you almost broke up your marriage because of this stupid feeling which you called love.

Naah he will never break my trust, he knows what I have gone through in my first marriage, he knows how emotional I am, I will be detached from the outer world. This time my heart won’t break. But the reality …. You cannot avoid it, he is with his wife and no matter what she is in his life and from the last three years you’re listening to the same thing, he is attached to his baby.

SO, WHAT? But he will not leave me.  Lavanya started crying: please stop … I can’t bear these thoughts. I really want to get out of this. It will put me in depression. I can’t bear all these questions but I can’t avoid them either.

Why am I getting this thought that he will leave me? Shit no no! There must be some way. Shall I talk to him? But he must be sleeping. What if I called and his wife picked up the call? Please god, show me some path. Like this I will lose myself, my peace. I will be lost. I was with him because of love and he also does the same but he is surrounded by his responsibilities. Lavanya slept. Without coming to any conclusion.

FOUR. 9 am: Lavanya's cell rang, she saw – Kush calling... Again with a heavy heart, she ignored his call.   At 11 again he called, this time Lavanya couldn’t control herself and she picked up the call and from that side voice came: where were you, I called you thrice? Lavanya replied: I was cooking food, so I missed your call ( silly excuse ) Kush: Seriously, thrice I called, how are you? Lavanya: I’m okay? Kush: Okay, What happened? Lavanya: started crying.

Kush I think we should not carry this relation further as you don’t need me anymore. You know me and I can’t handle this pain. Kush: I am alive, what the hell I am not dead? Stop being so childish. Please try to concentrate on something else, somewhere.  Lavanya: Seriously?? You are saying this to me, I am with you for the last three years and you are now saying try something else. Kush: I didn’t ask you to be with me for the past three years, you, yourself were with me. You have your own mind. I didn’t force you.

Lavanya ( Burst out in tears ): I know Kush you didn’t force me to but you didn’t let me go either. I waited for you thinking that one day we will be together legally. You said you will do, but now I am thinking you are backing out. Is it so? Do let me know. Kush: You know you should think about yourself. I can’t take this anymore, I have my family, there are two other people with me, and you know what, I am wasting my time talking with you. Call ended.

Lavanya cried like anything and suddenly she realized that every other person in her life who knows about her relation was right and she was wrong. She felt so broken and she feels so miserable. So, lost. Lavanya: Am I the one who came in between his relationship with his wife, but he was the one who held me till this time, and now... how could he?

Lavanya called Kush: Phone kept ringing.  Kush ignored her call he texted: what? Don’t call. We will end up fighting.  Lavanya: this is the last time, I need to talk to you right now.  Kush: Picked up her call and said- tell me, what you want.  Lavanya: Kush I guess I have bothered you so much and I am not this kind of a person what I am becoming nowadays. I can’t control my feelings which is actually sharing feeling from the last three years. I am done with this relationship.

Kush: Lavanya I understand once in a while, it’s ok to burst out but not always. I hold you each and every time but not all the time. I need you in my life. Lavanya: I don’t think you are understanding my feelings. I am with you from the very first day without any guarantee and commitment. Have you ever realized if we parted away, I won’t be able to trust again. Even I am afraid I will become another person and it will be very difficult to be with my son as well because I live on the emotions I can’t pretend things.

Kush: I won’t break your trust. I got to go, will catch you later. But this time Lavanya realized that Kush is holding her but from inside he is too broken as he knows if he will take divorce then his baby will also go away from him. I can see everything but I can’t see him heartbroken.

FIVE. Lavanya was divorced and a single parent and Kush was married and now was a father of a baby too. Lavanya and Kush met online on one online portal after spending half a year over a call they met first time and from that day they were together. Kush has decided he will divorce his wife and will pursue his love and life with Lavanya, but he became a father of a baby when he and Lavanya were not in touch for some time but destiny moved around and they met again but this time Kush had moved on physically not mentally. He still loves her and without letting her know he used to follow her on her social sites.

But, when they both got to know that Kush is going to be a father Lavanya again broken down but this time she was happy as she was also a mother of a child and she knows what it takes to be a parent. So she fully supported Kush in his phase towards fatherhood. But, she can sense it that Kush was really happy being a father and she can see the pain he felt for his daughter and she can also feel the pain that if they both get married his daughter will go far away from him because of her.

Lavanya was under the dilemma that how everything will sort out, there are so many complications in this relationship which so far was UNNAMED. By the time Lavanya again waited for Kush's call, deep down in the heart she was thinking that Kush will call her and he will try to hold her again, she was remembering her old days how Kush use to call her and understand her silence as well but nowadays things were changing between them and Lavanya was scared of being broken again.

SIX. She is getting this feeling again and again that Kush doesn’t need her anymore but is this true like we love someone with all his flaws and one day when they are done they leave? Lavanya: No, Kush loves me he will never leave me. I am with him without any profit with pure love. I will call him though I might be over-reacting. I will talk to him. 

Lavanya was consoling herself, she was feeling so depressed. In this city, Lavanya stays at a flat and her flatmate had just shifted in. Her name was Shanaya. As Kush was not around and Lavanya was feeling depressed, she went to Shanaya so that she can get some chill-out time. And yes, this is true, we all should have someone, at least one friend around with whom we can discuss each and everything so that they can help us, these friends will not judge us.

Lavanya was thinking with whom she should discuss that she was in an affair with a married man that too without knowing he will ever get married to her like others said to her that she is just wasting her time, Kush was using her. But she didn’t tell anything to Shanaya, not that she doesn’t want to but she doesn’t want that other person to disrespect Kush as she thought no one will understand her and his relation.

That night they partied hard like the first time in her life. Lavanya had tasted beer before this. Kush tried that if she can have a beer but Lavanya always denied, but this time she was so in the mood that she tried it and guess what, she was not down with even two beer bottles fully. Lavanya called Kush when she had a beer and they talked like they did in their early dating days. She was so happy talking to him, no questions, no answers just their love.

On the other hand, Kush was feeling relief that Lavanya was happy after a long time, and he also tried to make her feel happy. Their sweet talk, at that time also Lavanya was filtering her feelings for Kush like she had so much to say to him, but stopped herself.  She thought this time, she will take some pause and when Kush will be back she will express herself fully in front of him. She will express how much she loves him, no matter what is happening around she will always take care of Kush.

Lavanya and Shanaya spent some quality time together. She thanked Shanaya for that night. They became good friends. The next morning Lavanya tried calling Kush as he was supposed to be coming back but the call got disconnected. Lavanya tried again but the same response. She thought maybe Kush must be busy. She engaged herself in other work. Around 2 pm she called again this time cell was off, she dropped a text to Kush asking is he ok? Is everything fine?

But, by the end of the day, she didn’t receive any response. Her mood was off but she somehow managed. She thought once Kush will see her messages he will call her back. The next day again she tried to send him messages and didn’t get any revert. Lavanya tried calling him but each call was getting disconnected.

Poor Lavanya was making her mind up like Kush is busy, his cell was also not in a proper condition. Once he will be back he will definitely be coming to meet her.

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