“Why is this alarm so loud? Can someone please shut it down! I don’t want to wake up! I don’t want to go to office! God please save me,” Angira woke up throwing tantrums. It was a daily routine for her. She could never wake up without throwing tantrums, even if there was no one to listen.
Wait. That was not true.
There was one person who'd always listen. She fished for her phone from below her pillow to check for his texts on WhatsApp but there were none, for a change. How can that be? He always texts her in the morning. She then realized that he was no longer with her. He was gone, just like that. And she had no one else to blame but herself.
Her mind drifted to the past. Everything replayed in her head, seemed like just yesterday when she had met him for the first time.
It was her first day in office. She was partly excited and partly nervous. She swiped her new card to open the office door and went straight to her supervisor. After a formal introduction, he asked her to follow him. It was time to meet her new team. He introduced her to one team member, an ugly looking guy with a weird hairstyle, a novel in his hands and his feet on the table. He did not look like a guy who gives much heed to his job. This was Sameer, the guy she let go for a reason probably she still doesn't know.
Her supervisor introduced them formally and went for a meeting, giving him the responsibility to introduce her to the rest of the team. She gave him a formal smile and he smiled back. He had a distinct side smile. After putting her bag on the table, she started a conversation with him. He was not the talkative kinds she realized. But, she had to talk to him as he was her mentor.
She decided that day that she'll keep the conversation official and talk to him only when needed but life had different plans for her.
“We will have a project party on Sunday evening. All of you are invited and we need volunteers too.” Her supervisor made an announcement on a Tuesday and everybody was excited, except the guy.
She enrolled her name to be a volunteer andwas surprised to see him in the volunteer’s meeting. The first task was to call various hotels and select a venue. The guy started calling the hotels and he was good at negotiating. He had a command over the language and she was impressed by his smooth talking skills. After calling some ten places, they finally decided on the venue and team building activities. She was kind of surprised to see the guy actively participate as a volunteer.
On the day of the event, he was the Emcee, she was once again impressed and thought of having a conversation with him after the party. She didn’t get a chance as he left early but she was surprised to see a text from him on WhatsApp asking her if she had reached safely. This was his first text ever to her.
Her perspective of him as a person was changing everyday, she however sensed that there was something unusual about him but she didn’t want to pry into someone’s personal life. Next day in office he greeted her cheerfully and was making attempts to talk to her, this was kind of surprising, this was not like him at all. She didn’t pay much heed and got involved in the conversation.
This was just the beginning of their friendship. She had really started to enjoy his company. He was good at making her laugh and he was also a deep talker.
Whenever she asked him if he was anti-social, he would say that he is not anti-social but 'selectively-social'. Soon she came to know that he was in a committed relationship when he invited her home to meet his girlfriend. The three of them even went on some trips together. The guy was fun to be with but she didn’t like his girlfriend much and used to avoid meeting him when they were together. He sensed some tension and directly asked her if she had a problem.
After some discussions, he mentioned that he likes her as well as his girlfriend and since they are not very comfortable around each other, he will try to keep them separate. Though he settled on this decision, she was unaware that he was walking on a razor’s edge. He was a man of intuition, he knew that what he was doing would blow up on his face later, but he couldn’t stop himself; he was falling for her.
He was in a happy relationship but he felt genuine happiness with her, something he had not felt since a long time in his current relationship but he didn’t have the heart to break the relationship. His girlfriend helped him sail through his bad times and he was too grateful to tell her that what he felt for her was respect and not love.
Finally the night arrived that shouldn't have. Angira tasted alcohol for the first time in her life and she didn’t like it very much. She was making funny faces while drinking, he was smiling looking at her childish behavior. While she was thinking if she is doing the right thing, she couldn't stop drinking. She was fully convinced that she would be taken care of. After having few drinks she started feeling dizzy and her head started throbbing.
She felt like she had made a mistake, she wanted to run but could not, and she was not in a condition to do that. She was forced to spend the night at a guy’s place alone, there was no sign of sleep and her headache was killing her and then she felt someone was coming towards her, she was scared.
What if her friend tried to take advantage of her? She was not in a condition to defend herself. He came near her and started caressing her hair and patting her head slowly, she was shocked and elated at the same time. She opened her eyes to look towards him and then she saw genuine love, there was no lust in his action, the kind of love every girl wants.
She asked him why he was so arrogant and blunt towards others and he tried not to speak but she pushed him to and then he showed his scars. His story shocked her to the core. The guy was in need of help, love and she wanted to give him all of that, but how could she.
She was an Indian girl who belonged to a traditional family. That was the day she decided that she will be with him as far as possible. She tried to convince him that they are just friends and it should remain that way, but he was not convinced. He was stubborn as a kid.
She didn’t want to lose him. Somewhere in her heart she loved him too. He called her a doll and she loved being his doll. Her heart and mind were constantly battling against each other. He started convincing her to come to his house to sleep over, that way they'll be able to spend more time together. Though her mind was not convinced to do such things, her heart always won.
They started growing closer to each other, mentally, emotionally, and especially, physically. One day they kissed. It was her first kiss. First kisses are always unforgettable. It’s a connection you share with someone you love. For the society, she was committing a sin.
She was not a w**** to sleep around with men. She was raised with proper morals and belonged to a good family, but sometimes you become so helpless. Your heart makes the decisions for you. Things that seem right to you but really aren’t. Matters that cannot be discussed with anyone. She was living in the moment. She was embracing the time she had left with him before he moved away. She was creating unforgettable memories for herself.
He was going to leave soon and she had to make a decision, she had to return back to her normal life. She could not have lived in the virtual word. She finally made her decision, but the biggest problem was how to break it to him. She knew he will not react well to it, but she could not take it anymore, she had to move on and she had to create a life of her own.
She called him one day with a heavy heart and told him all that she had in her mind, he fell quiet on hearing this and she heard him sniffling; she was shattered on the inside. She wanted to hold his hand, wipe his tears and give him the love he deserved. But she had to be strong, she ignored his tears and stayed strong, he was begging her but she turned deaf ears to his hues. She could not let him convince her, not this time, too many things were at stake and she knew that she had to make this sacrifice for her future and his future as well.
He kept crying and begging and she kept on telling him that she didn't love him, it is all over. He stopped and she asked him not to call her ever again and blocked him from everywhere.
He was gone once and for all.
This is an excerpt from A Girl Named Angira. Do share the article and leave a comment for the author if you'd like to know what happens next.