infidelity heartbreak indian man unhappy marriage

When I Discovered His Dark Truth, I Was Told To 'Forget It And Move On'

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

 

I was a girl who never dated anyone. Even when I went abroad for studies and had numerous chances of dating, I did not because I wanted my family to find a suitable guy for me.

But when my birth stars became a constant hindrance to all the prospective alliances, my family asked me to choose someone of my choice who didn’t believe in these “stars and planets!” So, I registered on a famous matrimonial website.

Many people wanted to connect with me but there was someone among them with whom I felt an instant connection.

He said that he was an orphan (he lost his parents in a car accident), and a self-reliant person who was not in contact with his relatives. He lived in a different state so it was not easy to do a background check on him.

He didn’t have a Facebook account and I just had access to his Twitter and LinkedIn accounts. His tweets showed that he was a "genuine and responsible" citizen.

Several people from the frontline of society had tagged him in their tweets against societal injustice.

Even his LinkedIn profile had extraordinary testimonials about his professional and personal life given by Executive Directors and many such high-ranking people from the corporate world.

I trusted the testimonials from such "big" personalities.

I fell in love with him and we dated for almost a year. He even spoke to my family and expressed an interest in marrying me. He said that he would come soon to meet them in person.

On my birthday, he sent me a bouquet, chocolates, a teddy bear and a birthday card and told me to tell my office colleagues that they were sent by my "boyfriend".

Everyone in my office got to know that I was in a relationship. Things were going smoothly until I noticed certain red flags about him.

If I questioned him about any women, he always said, "I am working in a high position in a corporate and as a part of my professional life, I will have to deal with different people and that will include women too. If you are going to doubt me then I don’t think our relationship can move forward."

I thought I was overthinking and overreacting and I stopped questioning him.

One day, when I went to meet him, we got physical for the first time. He was a Brahmin and was wearing the sacred thread. I started counting the number of threads for fun and found that there were 9.

I didn't know the significance of the threads then, as I am not a Brahmin. I went back to my city and the next day, I casually Googled to know the significance of the number of threads.

I discovered that a bachelor wears 3 threads, a married person wears 6 and when a child is born to him, he wears 9!

This guy had 9 threads! I felt my world turning upside down! I immediately called and asked him if he was married.

As he had enjoyed my body, which he had probably yearned for a year, he admitted that he was married and had a child too!

He claimed that he was in an unhappy marriage and wanted to break it, hence he had registered on the matrimonial website (as "unmarried"). I asked him if he was unhappy then why was he stuck in the marriage. I even told him that I would wait for him till he got separated.

But he started making excuses for his child, saying that a child needs a father and mother, which is why he could not think of leaving his wife!

When I asked him, "What about me?”, he apologized and simply told me to forget everything and "move on!”

That is all he had to say after fulfilling his carnal desires with a woman who did not even know that he was married!

He had fooled my family and me. How could a person whose social media was filled with praises be such a liar, cheater, and so shameless?! I discovered his darkest side that day and lost trust in these so-called "testimonials".

While he blocked me from everywhere and moved on without caring if I was alive or dead. He never even bothered to call and check how I was doing.

He must have hooked up with a new victim. But I was not ready to give up my life by crying for him.

I looked for his wife and told her what her husband did to me. She too apologized to me (what else could she do!) and asked me to "forget it and move on".

Is it so easy to forget and move on?

I read a lot of stories where the man has had extramarital affairs but everyone says that he should stick with his wife and forget the affair because the family is more important. But in most cases, the girlfriend was aware of the man’s marital status.

What about me? I had no clue that he was married!

My life, my dreams, and my happiness were all shattered right after being physically intimate with him.

I could have gone to the police because it was a clear case of cheating since he was registered as unmarried on the matrimonial website. I also had other evidence against him.

But I did not want his son to be called as "son of a prisoner" and that too for cheating a woman.

However, I am not such a good person either. I pray every day that he suffers the pain that I am going through.

I have just one question for him, "As a woman who trusted and loved him, I was denied the truth. But as a human being, did I not deserve to know the truth about his marital status?”

Married men feel the need to find someone new to spice up their routine sex life.

I don't deny their biological needs but couldn't he have been truthful to me? I learned that such men do exist.

They pose as truthful and genuine to the world but in reality, they are worse than rapists.

At least the truth of a rapist is known to the whole world!

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