The Man I Love Is Not The Father Of My Children, But I Can't Lose Him Again

Anonymous Anonymous in Dirty Picture on 5 December, 2017

I am 38 years old and I've been married for the past 12 years. I even have 2 children. But my story is about my past.

Before I was married, I was crazy about this guy. But he used to be a big-time flirt and at that time, he only used to play with people's feelings and women were just time-pass for him.

My love for him was true and it was my bad luck that I fell for him. When I found out that he was just playing with me, I had to break up with him.

Advertisement

Time went by, I got married, I moved to a different country and we lost all contact.

A few months later, my husband and I returned to my hometown and one day, I met my ex-boyfriend. We started talking again and we became very close.

In between, my husband and I were going through some issues and we weren't connected to each other at all. At that point in time, I began to get all the more closer to my friend.

He was being very affectionate with me and I felt truly loved and cared for. He was my shoulder to lean on, and soon this turned into an affair.
Advertisement

He wasn't married at that time and we hadn't spent too much time together. Before it was too late, I decided to end it because I realized that I couldn't betray my husband or jeopardize my son's future. I was not doing the right thing by cheating on my husband like this.

After that, we still remained good friends and maintained our boundaries. Later on, he too got married and now he has a daughter.

A few years went by and finally, my husband and I were invited to be a part of a social group to which he belonged. When we accepted, he personally messaged me and thanked me for choosing to stay in touch.

Our friendship got a new lease of life and we started talking to each other every day once again. We used to talk like the people we were before we got married- like best friends, and not two estranged people trying to fulfil some social courtesy.

One day, he admitted that he was still in love with me and admired me. He said that he would always respect me no matter how I chose to be with him, and he asked me to give him an answer.

Advertisement

I obviously have feelings for him, but I was too confused and scared. I had no idea what to do. After being restless and tortured for a period of time, I gave in. I confessed that I did have feelings for him.

Today, it's been 5 months since we've resumed our affair. My husband and his wife know nothing about it.

Sometimes, I feel really guilty. But you know what, I can't lose him! I have tried to indirectly tell my husband many times about us, but he never takes me seriously. He thinks we're just great friends and trusts me blindly.

He was my first love and I love him a lot. at the same time, I love my husband too. If push comes to shove, and I have to choose between them, I will choose my children and their father.

My ex-boyfriend doesn't just want me for the sex. In fact, we've only had oral sex and haven't gone all the way through. If he only wanted me for my body, we could have used any excuse to get it done. But we've done no such thing.

I know our love is real, and sometimes love is tested in so many ways. I don't know what I should do now.

Editor's Note:

Share this story because social reality is never the same as what the heart wants. Everything could crumble around us, but we'll always have our ability to love again.