Sex Between Four Walls Is The Only Thing We Ever Shared With Each Other

Anonymous Anonymous in Dirty Picture on 1 September, 2017

I am a 29-year-old unmarried, shattered girl. Thank you for breaking my heart in a way no one else could.

I met this guy four years ago at my workplace. We first did Emcee together for an event and from then onwards we started texting each other and so on. We were just like any other usual friends. As time passed by, this guy started asking me to send seductive pictures of mine to him. Considering it as a joke I just waived it off.

Two years passed by and we got closer to each other. And during this time, I was in a very short relationship with another guy which didn't even last for more than 2 months because I did not like him.

Advertisement
As days passed by, I got closer to this guy and he happened to call me out for a drive. It had been 4 years that I had secretly liked him and saving his pictures on my phone. When he approached to take me for a drive or rather spend time with him, I agreed in no time.

It was on a Friday evening that I was supposed to meet him. Well, I had got ready, all dressed up and it was 6 PM and I got no message. I got back to my room and started weeping and when I asked him about it the next day, all he had to say was that he was seeing some other girl and probably wanted to get into a relationship with her considering her age, caste, community and she being "Marriage Material" and someone who could be a "Good Daughter to his mother and a good mother to his kids" unlike me.

Yes, these are exactly the words that he used for me. I decided to stay away from him. I tried hard to control all my emotions by turning off my phone.

And during this phase, I started consuming alcohol in order to forget him. Time passed by and a little later there was some issue with that girl and him. They fought and he broke up with her. He came back to me and apologized. I accepted him back in my life in no time.

Advertisement

We met often but only during late evenings or at his place. We made out and I failed to realise that he was using me to satisfy his sexual needs. I believed him because he said that he was attached to me and that he loved me but could not marry me because his mom would get hurt. He always kept telling me that we were a secret couple. I do not have a single picture with him. We haven't gone on dates or movies or lunches or dinners.

He has neither gifted me anything nor made me feel special. Sex within four walls and meeting him in his car, post sunset was the only thing we shared in the past two years. And I was so blind in love that I believed every word he said to me; including things like he is close only to me, his mum and his sister. As time passed, I figured that all he had for me was lust and not love. There were times when he used to threaten to leave me if I didn’t arrange a place for us to have sex.

I feared losing him all over again, which is why I kept doing everything that he asked for. As days flew I got to know that he had posted a picture of him with a girl who is supposedly his student with captions like "you are the best person I have ever met". The same person, who didn’t want to click even one picture with me, had no problem in sharing his picture with another girl on social media.

The same person who once said he had no friends and I was the only close person suddenly had a lot of friends, started attending functions, parties, friends, and gatherings. I started getting vulnerable and things fell apart very badly. I have been used just to fulfill his sexual fantasies for the past two years even on days I had my periods on. While I was kept away from all other privileges in his life, I still begged him every single day to treat me better.

When I asked him about marriage, he used to body shame me by telling me, "Look at other girls around you. Look at your face in the mirror. Nobody would have been with you if not for me. So be happy with all that you get from me. Do not ask for more." I have rejected many proposals during the same process and I am 29 years old, heartbroken, shattered and feeling completely hopeless in life.

All I have to say is that love happens once in life. Why ruin it for someone when you don't even love them a bit and all you needed was a physical relationship that you could hire someone for. People are meant to be loved and not used.