Of Course, I Love My Husband. But My 'Special Someone' Is Unique.

Anonymous Anonymous in Dirty Picture on 30 May, 2018

Things were going on perfectly in our lives when my mom, dad, bhai and I had to shift to a new small town from a city. I was not very excited about it. Actually, I didn’t like that small place at all. I was in 8th standard at that time and my brother was in 10th. I missed my old school friends. But soon it was time to join our new school and make new friends. There were two good schools in that place. Our dad asked us to choose one school. We liked one school and decided to study there.

I liked all my new teachers and classmates. We both made new friends in our classes. Things were going on nicely for both of us. We then joined a tuition class. There was a big crowd of students there. But we soon became a part of this big family too.

I don’t know how it happened but I started feeling very emotional about my brother’s best friend.
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He was someone who was very special to me. I felt I really cared for him. 

I was a studious type of a student and never thought of getting into any kind of relationship. Yeh un dino ki baat hai when my heart couldn’t keep track of my feelings.

I only know that my feelings for him were soft, innocent and pure.

And frankly speaking…..mujhe nahi pata tha ki uske liye mere mann mein aisi feelings kyun aarahi thi and pyaar vyaar ka mujhe us waqt kuch idea hi nahi tha. But whenever I looked at him, I always started blushing.  I knew my eyes shone whenever I looked at him. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach and could sense my heart beating at a faster pace when he looked at me. I would automatically have a big smile on my face whenever he was around me.

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I could feel the same kind of emotion in his eyes too. We exchanged our stories with each other with our eyes but our words were created only out of our silence. I can’t explain that beautiful feeling in words.

It was a pure feeling that rose from my heart. It was not any kind of physical attraction or infatuation. Things continued in the same manner till our board exam days. He would wish me good luck for my exams every day and subah subah exams ke pehle use dekh kar mujhe sara din sab kuch bahut hi achha lagta tha. I don’t know why he didn’t confess his feelings for me. Was it because he didn’t want to spoil his friendship with my brother?

Both of us continued talking with our silence.

I was busy with my studies when one fine day I heard about his relationship with another girl. Everyone started teasing him now. But I never said anything.

Maybe I kept quiet because I was feeling jealous of her.
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Time passed but I could still feel the affection that he had for me through his eyes.

But we were happy with our silence.

I was ready to seek admission in a professional college now. My family had shifted to a new place and I did not get the chance of meeting him again. My brother was in touch with his friends. One day my brother and his old friends went for an outing and their car met with an accident. My heart skipped a beat when I heard this. I was very worried about my brother and of course about my special person too.

I was relieved to see that he was fine. We just smiled when we looked at each other.

It was at that time that I realized ki life ka pehla pyaar bahut hi special hota hai and kabhi bhulaya nahee ja sakta…and meri uske liye care aur bhi jyada hogayi thi…..yeh un dino ka pyaar tha jab dil ko calculations karni nahi aati thi….when my love for him was true and pure.

Years passed by. We didn’t meet each other. In the meantime, he got married too. My family attended the wedding but I was busy with my studies in my college at that time. So it didn’t bother me much. I was about to complete my degree when I got a chance of seeing him again. He had come along with my brother to pick me up at the station.

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This time too we shared just a smile. Nothing else.

A few months later, I too got married. My life was full of love now. I had a baby boy and 2-3 years later it was time for my brother to get married. Of course I got a chance to meet him. But this time we were with our better halves.

We now started talking with each other with a lot of curiosity. I was tempted to continue talking with him. We had met after almost 8-9 years.

I still remember the day my brother called me up and asked me, “Guess who is with me?” I was shocked…it was him and we talked. I could not explain my happiness. Time passed and after a while, he sent me a request on Facebook. I accepted it without a second’s delay.

But we didn’t chat or send any texts to each other.

One day I just sent him an anniversary wish on Messenger.

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He replied instantly and this time we talked very freely with each other. We confessed our feelings to each other as we both knew that we could never be together forever.

We exchanged our numbers after that and I felt on top of the world now. We talked over the phone, discussed everything and relived those old moments of our lives.

I feel my life has become more beautiful after he became a part of it. I love my family a lot but he is also very important to me. We discuss things, send texts and talk whenever we want to.

I think I have become a little possessive about him now. I don’t like him interacting with other girls on social media and on his mobile. I think except for his wife I don’t feel like sharing him with anyone else. It is at such times that I feel like asking him if I have that kind of extra special place in his life too.

Am I as important to him as he is to me? I would feel happy if I just held an important place in his life too. He is my priority and means as much to me as my family does. I have a big smile on my face whenever I get a text from him.

I know both of us are happily married in our lives. Perhaps no one can understand the beautiful relationship that we share with each other.

Not all love stories have a perfect ending.

Maybe there are people who will question my character too but I feel we cannot really give all our relationships a distinct or unique name. I still have the same soft feelings for him. I can’t stop caring for him.

I love my husband and my kids a lot but I also love him.

I feel pyaar ka matlab sath rehna hi nahi hota. Ye ek pyaara ehsaas hai. Jiske liye yeh feelings hai wo chahe hamari nazron ke saamne ho ya na ho hamari care and affection uske liye kabhi kam nahi hogi.

He was, he is and he will always be very special to me. I don’t want to lose him ever. I know I am really blessed to have him in my life.
Editor's Note:

Respect, quiet kind understanding ways, that serene all-knowing smile, those tiny gestures of care and concern, that knowing look that has faith in our ability, that implicit trust in the purity of our emotions……..love…can have a million different definitions for all of us. Let’s share this oh so beautiful story and learn to appreciate and celebrate all the aspects of love that we experience in our lives. Let’s learn to respect and treasure such precious, pure and rare relationships.