My life has always been an open book. My parents selected a groom for me. I had complete faith in their choice.

They are simple folks. They believe what they see. They have never lied. They do not have any secrets. They do not even know that two-faced people exist on this planet.

All was fine till the day my husband insisted that we have a child as soon as possible. He threatened to sleep outside our bedroom if I did not fall in with his wishes. We lived in a joint family. So I agreed to his wishes reluctantly. We were soon blessed with a beautiful baby girl.

I am a working woman. So my mother-in-law asked me to employ a helper to look after my kid when I went out to work. I had to get up early in the morning every day. I would have my bath, cook breakfast and lunch for 5 people, pack their lunch boxes and then rush to my workplace.

Nobody helped me with the chores.

When I returned in the evening, I had to cook for the whole family again. I would be the last person to have my meal and would often end up eating the leftovers. After a few years, we moved to our own house. Things were quite smooth sailing in our house now. I was happy to be doing everything for my own family. I then had my second daughter.

My husband, however, was not very keen on having an intimate relationship with me. It was here that I made a mistake. We lived in a joint family and I assumed that this was due to lack of privacy.

He had no problems when I went to my mother’s place with my kids during their vacations. In fact, he would insist that my mother-in-law also visit her other kids at the same time.

He would then stay alone.

We celebrated our 25^th wedding anniversary a couple of years back. One day, I had taken my younger daughter to a nearby park. I returned home early. I always carried a set of house keys with me. When I opened the door, I was surprised to see male footwear near the doorway. I asked my daughter to wait for me in the living room. I then went in search of my husband. I went to our bedroom on the first floor. I was shocked to see a set of clothes on the floor. I sensed that something was amiss. I then went into my children’s room. I caught my husband in a compromising position with another man and he was completely nude too.

I was too shocked to react. I was shaking.

I ran down to see if my daughter was still in the living room. A few minutes later, the man walked out of our house calmly. My husband even accompanied him on his way out. I asked my daughter to watch TV for some more time. I then confronted HIM upstairs.

It was then that my life came crashing down. He confessed that he was bi-sexual. He said he preferred men. I said, "Why did you marry me? Why did you ruin my life?"

I told him that I loved him so very much but he had betrayed me totally!

He confessed that he was partly gay. He said he had been that way from the age of 16. His family had never known about his sexual preference. He had agreed to marry me because his mother had threatened to commit suicide. He begged me not to disclose his secret to anyone else. He said he would commit suicide if I did so.

I was too confused to think rationally at that time.

I wondered if I would need some kind of counselling to overcome all this. I then thought about it for a long while. My daughters were in their teens. I felt I had no right to disturb their lives. They were innocent. I replayed all the major events of my married life.

I then found so many instances where he had manipulated my movements at home. He had deliberately kept me away from home so that he could have his affairs.

I was horrified to even think that he had shared our marital bed with numerous men. I was already having a tough time dealing with my menopause. I was experiencing mood swings and this stressed me out emotionally too.

I decided to go in for a health check-up. I was relieved to know that I had not contracted any infection.

Both of my kids are married now. They are happy with their families and careers. But I am still married to my husband. I retired recently. I cannot think of buying a place of my own. So I cannot move out of my current home too.

I did discuss this with my daughters. They do support me fully but I do not wish to rock the boat of their lives now.

He is still in touch with his male friends. Whenever he gets an opportunity, he invites them home. He makes full use of my absence. So I have stopped accepting invitations from my friends and relatives especially the ones in which I alone am invited. Sometimes, I still get up with a start in the middle of the night when I visualize his dalliance with that man. It is clearly etched in my mind. I feel like going in for some kind of counselling to get over all this.

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