We have been married for over 3.5 years now and we were dating for ten years. 13.5 years of a relationship until I got to know that my husband was cheating on me. I was so shocked to know that the person who was so possessive about me and the one who loved me so much, was lost somewhere else.
Everyone told me that he can't cheat on me. He posed like a gentleman. Including others, even I tried to believe that it could be just a misunderstanding. But he broke that bubble by confessing that he was really cheating on me. Cheating is a choice and not a mistake. It’s not about boredom or dissatisfaction. I was perfect in all terms as a girlfriend, as a wife, as a life partner. I didn’t want to torture myself and lock myself in the room full of questions like, “why me?”, “What was lacking in me?” I didn’t want to punish myself. To keep myself away from this emotional turmoil I took the help of counseling.
I joined dance classes, meditation, yoga classes, gym and what not. Over the time of four months I realized, being cheated on teaches you that, things happen for a reason. In the end, there’s really nothing you can do about it. My fate had some other plans for me.
Then entered the second hero of my story. He was just a co-worker back then. He was married as well and he shared a similar problem in his married life. We shared the similar pain and emptiness. I thought, “If he did it, why shouldn’t I do it?” It wasn't a sexual attraction at first but an instant pull towards him.
I experienced a constant thirst to be with that person. I couldn't find peace unless I could indulge in that person in some way or the other. And then, he filled in the void, he rearranged things in my life. I fell for him.
From just being colleagues to best friends, from sharing jokes to sharing our secrets, from sending kiss emoticons to passionately kissing each other in reality, the destiny was unfolding itself. Sparks of desire light up in my stomach and the kisses got deeper. His taste in my mouth was still sweet and my head was fuzzy with the question, "What have I done? I just kissed a married man!" on that he replied, "I kissed a married woman!"
We both shared a devilish smile and kissed again, more confidentially. It felt awful and awesome at the same time. It feels so damn good. How do I stop this? I need to be able to shut these feelings off but can you really turn off a two-way attraction this strong? Is it love, lust or just an addiction? Let the fate decide.