How do I describe my life? I'm now a married woman and I have a child. I really don't have a problem with my marriage. If you look at the way I live, you'll think I have nothing to complain about. You're right. I don't. But that's not my problem. My past still haunts me and I don't know how to get out of it, to be honest.

I had a couple of failed relationships and my fair share of crushes. I was always in search of true love- someone to rejoice with and seek comfort in. It never came my way. Then I got married. My husband loves me a lot but he has no idea what happened in my past, and I think it's best left that way.

There are some people from my past I cannot forget. But I can't be with them either. I was dumb enough to fall for them and I did everything I could do to have a successful relationship with them. They only used me to the fullest extent and left me to die in misery.

I met one of them recently. He's not from my religion, and back then, I was head over heels in love with him. It had been years since we last met.

He used me only for his pleasure. This was nothing but sex for him. He wouldn't even bother to talk to me properly, let alone treat me with respect. Let's call him Imran.

What can I say? When you meet someone after years, your mind would have numbed the pain they caused you. You only remember the vaguely good things about them. You expect them to have grown up, to have changed. So when he asked to meet me, I accepted.

I met him like an old friend would, we spoke for a while, but only a short while. It wasn't long before his disrespectful, perverse side rose up and started pressurizing me for sex. Only I know how I got out of there without cheating on my husband that day.

And he had the b**ls to try convincing me that I should leave my husband and marry him. He sounded so earnest and serious, that I even began to wonder if he meant it. So I asked him straight- did he mean it, or was he just honey-trapping me?

I waited for a whole day for his reply but he had finally disappeared. I can't believe I let him come into my life again like that. I can't believe I let him talk to me like that again. Marriage becomes less exciting after some time, so each time he tried to brainwash me, I can't believe I was tempted to imagine some new imaginary future. I made the biggest mistake by entertaining him. But I guess now I'm smarter. I know that infatuation is not love, and abusive ex-boyfriends will never become better human beings. I am not a stupid person. And I deserve to be treated with respect.

I hope some day he'll read this and get it through his thick head that he can't get away by ruining women's lives. We're not his playthings. I just don't know how to get him to understand that.

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