My boyfriend and I love each other deeply. We go through many ups and downs in our relationship but our commitment to the relationship never wavers. We are two sexually experimental individuals who are not ashamed of our fantasies. We both have different fantasies like, I enjoy being tied up, being teased in risqué locations; he likes to dominate me, spank me. Another one of his fantasies is watching me in bed with another guy. You are reading a story of this particular fantasy.

I was in the US for work and he was in India. It seemed like a good opportunity to make this fantasy come true. Let me tell you, it is much simpler to try this outside of India with a non-Indian man. It feels safer for a variety of reasons that I am not getting into here.

Did I mention I wasn’t completely on-board with the idea? But, here we were one fine day, discussing the possibility of making this happen. I still had my reservations, but as we discussed, I realized how excited he was. I started warming up to the idea.

We decided New York is the place to go for it. The city is a dream for non-conformers. There are no rules. You can find anything or anyone you want.

As soon as I reached NYC, I created a profile on Bumble (feminist Tinder!). Within hours, I matched with a few guys. Mind you, I had mentioned in the profile that I’m looking for only one night of fun and called out to exhibitionists. So, I messaged this guy, who looked cute and made an extra effort to reach out to me. We hit it off immediately and planned to catch up on drinks in a couple of hours. 

Soon, he asked me what kind of exhibitionism I had in mind. When I mentioned that my boyfriend wants to watch us over video, he backed out. He didn’t want to take the risk of seeing himself butt-naked over the Internet. I said, "Fine, thanks for your time", and we stopped chatting. 

After this conversation, I sat there watching a play that I could no longer concentrate on, and I thought maybe he’ll be okay with my boyfriend hearing us over a call. This is something my boyfriend had mentioned earlier. So I asked, and he was in.

Now I was getting excited. I messaged my boyfriend about the set-up. Surprisingly, he didn’t seem that excited. He was bugged about the no-video part and wanted me to explore other guys. For some reason that I don’t completely understand, I still wanted to meet this guy and explore our possibilities.

My boyfriend and I decided that I would meet this guy and try to convince him to come over video. If he didn't agree, I would decide whether I still wanted to go ahead with him while my boyfriend would enjoy over voice-call. 

Soon we met, went to a bar, ordered drinks. I was a little hesitant initially, small talk is not my forte. As the drinks started flowing, we started talking. He was a smart, confident, and perceptive guy. We started talking about my relationship. He too was in a long distance relationship until a month ago just like my boyfriend and I. To my surprise, he started drawing parallels between what he went through and what I was going through. All of them were bang on point. He understood, analysed and dissected each and every word I was saying, debunking my excuses, showing me a mirror and forcing me to face reality.

He realized that I was not happy in my relationship, something that was true but not yet acknowledged by me, something hidden within my deepest thoughts. 

By this time my boyfriend was sending me message after message and calling me multiple times to know what was happening. I didn’t answer the calls. I sent him a message that I was not doing it. For me, it could not be a f***-and-leave kind of night anymore. In my mind, this guy became a person while we talked and no more just a penis attached to a body. I was enjoying my time with him. We talked until the bar closed. 

As we came out of the bar, on the cool breezy night, there, right on the streets of New York, he kissed me. I melted into the kiss. It was not the one-leg-up-in-the-air kind of kiss. It was the pressing-bodies-with-urgency kind of kiss. After the kiss, I was still thinking of going back to my room.

We walked one block. Then, on the corner of 13th & Houston St, he kissed me again. This time both my senses and I melted. I said to him, "Lets go". He asked, "Where?" I answered, "To your place". It was closer.

I didn’t want to think about it anymore. I just wanted him. It was a crazy night. A deeply passionate, arousing and satisfying night. We went on for hours before we finally slept. Then, we woke up in the middle of the night and couldn’t resist each other. And then again, back at it in the morning. We could not get enough of each other. After all this, before I left, he took out his guitar and started playing. Nope, this story is not picked up from a cheesy romantic movie!

All this while, my phone was buzzing in my purse. I didn’t take it out. I didn’t want to share my experience. It wasn’t what my boyfriend had in mind. It was carnal pleasure, but still different in a way. We were not making love, but we were not f***ing either. I left from his place with the memories of a night I’d never forget.

One thing I learnt that night about myself was that I can’t have sex without intimacy. It’s a surprising realization that changed my life forever. Guess I am old-fashioned after all!

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