I am a 27-year-old bachelor. I’m an engineer by profession and I live in one of the major IT hubs in India.
I’ve always been a shy guy who has liked many girls but never had the courage to talk to them.
I am sure that several guys feel the same way. However, I have a confession to make. I have a huge crush on a lady who is approximately 14 years older than me. Her husband passed away 5-6 years ago when I was in college.
I’ve always had a crush on her but could never tell her because I felt that it was not right.
I liked her and had no intention of doing anything more. I’m sure that this is also something that many boys my age can relate to.
She has two sons; one is in class 7 and the other in class 9. They call me bhaiya and both of them are very close to me. I regularly play cricket with them. Until November last year, I had no connection with their mother. I went to their house occasionally but never spoke to her.
Things started changing in December. One evening, I visited her house and after talking to her sons, I managed to talk to her. It was a great feeling as I rarely spoke to girls apart from office work or casual greetings. This was also a casual talk.
However, it was a wonderful experience because I was talking to someone whom I liked a lot.
The next day, I went to her house to talk to her again. This started happening regularly though not daily. We’d talk just for 15-20 minutes but those few minutes were the best time of my day. I loved talking to her and my feelings for her were growing stronger every day.
It was her birthday in January and I gifted her a silk saree. Initially, she was hesitant to accept it and even insisted that I take money for it, somehow I managed to convince her. This was probably the first brick of our friendship. The following weekend, I took her sons and her for a movie. Though I didn't sit beside her, I was happy to spend time with her.
Then came Valentine’s week, which has several days like Teddy day, Propose day, Chocolate day and so on.
I wished her on all the days though I couldn’t gather the courage to say anything more or flirt with her.
Yet, it was a great feeling. Everything was going well and I’d visit her house every evening. Since April, I noticed a change in her. Normally, she would just reply to the questions that I’d ask and nothing more. But for the last few days, she has been initiating the conversations.
Now, she smiles, sits near me and even jokes with me.
She has also started dressing up whenever I visit her. Earlier, she would wear ordinary house dresses but now she wears stylish dresses as though she were going out. She even keeps her hair open and looks stunning.
Recently, she asked me for my mobile number and a few days later, she called me from her office. She wanted to bunk office and watch a movie. I readily went with her.
While watching the movie, I touched her hand and she did not move away.
Then I kept my hand on her shoulder and she did not resist. I felt a deep connection with her. Now, I don’t feel shy while talking to her. I touch her whenever I feel like. Since the last three days, we have been talking regularly on the phone. She talks about her day, her office, and family members and asks me the same.
I’m not comfortable talking about my personal life with anyone yet with her, I can freely talk about anything.
She is not my crush anymore; I’m falling in love with her. Often, I dream about her. I’ve stopped calling her 'aunty' and now I call her 'ma'am'. I don't know whether I should confess my feelings to her. I believe that she likes me too. But what if she doesn't?
Will she get offended if I tell her how I feel?
And if she has feelings for me, what should I do? Should I marry her? What will people think and moreover, what will her children think? They are very dear to me and I don’t want to hurt them.
I’m very confused because I don’t know if I, rather we are moving in the right direction?
Please help me with your suggestions. Please don’t ridicule my feelings or abuse me. If you sincerely feel that this is not right, then do not hesitate to say it.