Being in love, is most definitely the most overrated emotion there is. Right from when we were growing up, we would dream about our Prince Charming, who would travel the world to meet us.
I thought I had found mine. I thought that I was living my fairy-tale but little did I know.
We met when we were 18, dated for 7 years and by 25, were married. My in-laws demanded a wife who could bring in dowry, but my husband told them that wasn’t going to happen and this dream of theirs was never realized.
My husband and I are both doctors. Apart from our education, the life of a doctor is intense. All through college, our friends are enjoying their lives, while we’re buried in our books and finally, when we start earning, some of us are pressurized by our families to get married, mint money, and have kids!
Unfortunately, we succumbed to that pressure and in the next year of our marriage, I was pregnant. My husband wanted to study further and specialize after the birth of our child. I supported him and told him I would be there for our son, he should continue pursuing his dream. Once he made this decision, he then told me how his parents wanted us to shift back into a joint family with them.
I silently agreed and suffered their verbal torture for years, just so that he could get what he wanted.
By the time our son was two and a half years old, his parents began questioning why he wasn’t making enough money as a doctor. So once again, he buried himself in his work. I kept telling myself to hold on, it’d be just a few more years and we would finally be living the life we had dreamed of when we were 18. At this point in his life, my husband got involved with a new set of friends, from the corporate world of medicine. While this got him more contacts, and in turn, work, this proved to be the most damaging decision for us.
Turns out, in his new circle, an extra-marital affair was considered a status symbol.
In our eighth year of marriage, my husband had an affair. He told this girl that he wasn’t happy with our marriage and it was on the verge of coming to an end. While he would tell me that he was going to be late because of the conferences and various other late-night meetings.
It didn’t take long for that girl to ask him to marry her. He of course, got cold feet and tried to break it off with her.
He refused to part ways with me and soon, she was out of his life.
How do I know this, you wonder? Because she sent me an email, only I didn’t read it until much later. So of course, in my world, life was going on and while I did have some days of suspicion, I would warn myself from overthinking situations.
Until the day I happened to check his phone. My husband was sexting.
For the first time in his life, my husband was scared, because he knew I had the power to leave him. He begged and begged me to stay, we shifted our home and settled somewhere miles away from his family and his various women. He asked me to give us time, to let our relationship heal. I believed him and trusted that it was a wise decision, for the sake of our marriage, and our son.
4 years later, when I was checking some old emails, I found this one from his first girlfriend. I found out everything about the affair and how he made promises to her to leave me, only to then leave her instead. I confronted him about this. Asked him if he still meets her, or talks to her, but I already knew the answer to that.
My husband is a coward. He doesn’t have it in him to leave his family: his ego won’t allow it.
And once again, he begged me to stay and assured me that these were just careless mistakes he had made.
Today, we’re still together. I believe him entirely, I won’t say it’s because of trust or love, but it’s because I know that he’s worried that the next time, she will pack her bags and finally say good-bye.