I'm A Virgin But What I Got From Him Is The Best Thing In The World

Anonymous Anonymous in Dirty Picture on 2 September, 2017

28. A virgin. An extremely horny person. Fell in love with the wrong person. Twice. Fell in love on Tinder!
That, in short, would be my description.

I was brought up in a conventional household. Religion was namesake but everyone only followed it as it suited them.

My first kiss was at the age of 19. My only relationship lasted 7 years and had an ugly end when he cheated on me. I did not blame him. We never went past the second base. I do not want to play the victim, and this reasoning helps me find peace. It was very clear that my faith did not allow pre-marital sex. And I had no intention of going to hell. Life seemed like hell anyway.

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After 3 years of extreme celibacy and no attraction towards sex, I assumed I was asexual. It was not a pretty phase but it happened.

Then somehow one night, I decided to download Tinder. The options- oops, the truckload of hot options were mesmerizing.

But how would this work? I was anonymous and under a fake name on Tinder, and I couldn't let anyone know I was on the app. My parents would kill me. At 28. A doctor.

Swiping through the app, I came across this profile which showed a sexy male body. I was grossed out. But curiosity made me check the bio. The description was poetry! Intense, romantic, and completely opposite to what the pictures signified.

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I was sold. You may argue I was sold because of the size (AHEM!) but something caught my attention. We started chatting and talking and the same night I was introduced to this wondrous world of phone sex!

Sex. With my virginity intact. With a complete stranger! This was amazing!

Days passed and somehow the sex grew more intense. We connected mentally and sexually over the phone on another level! Both of us were still anonymous to each other.

Then he disclosed his identity to me. I did not like how he looked. But somehow, that didn't matter. I was in awe of this guy. He was an ex-civil servant, living a corporate dream, and the sapio-sexual in me was besotted! Then he tracked me down without my permission!

You will argue that the explicit pics and the stalking should've been enough for me to have some sense knocked into me. I knew what I was up against. Yet, he made me happy. Happiest I had ever been.

And then he cheated on me.

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We weren't anything. A couple of dates and not even the touch of a finger. But I felt like I was cheated upon and it hurt. It hurt every time he said he loved me but it killed him not to touch me. It hurt that I could love him so much and yet stick to my faith and ideals.

He did not want this virtual relationship. But he kept coming back after months of being apart. We couldn't ignore the emotional connect.

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Author's Note:

I am sharing this story because I am not a psycho as this narrative would've spelled out. But sometimes you make connections you cannot ignore. Sometimes you have this hunger (commonly known as 'lust') that needs to be fulfilled. I fell in love with this guy because he could complete both of these things without being in my physical presence. He plays the guitar like a rockstar. He solves the Rubik's cube in under one minute. He is brilliant, loving, and compassionate.

Only, he is on Tinder. And he is not mine.