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If I Hadn't Become Pregnant, He Would Have Never Married Me

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

I know it is hard for anyone to write their story anywhere but if there is no one to listen to you, you have to face this challenge.

Well, my story starts when I was 15 years old and fell for a boy. We both loved each other very much but our families couldn't accept our relationship because he belonged to the lower caste and I belonged to a Brahmin family. A three-year-long relationship came to an end.

You must be thinking how I fell for a boy at the age of 15. The answer is I was going through physical abuse by my own brother. And when I told my parents about it they beat me up because they thought I was lying. So while searching for love somewhere else, I fell for that guy but they broke our relationship as well.

A storm of anger built inside me. I just wanted to get out from all that shit that was happening to me. At the age of 20, a 27-year-old man came to my life and said he wanted to marry me as he loved me a lot (so-called love).

I was disturbed already and hence, made a stupid decision of marrying him. Before marriage, his condition was to have sex with me. So we had a physical relationship and I got pregnant. I came to know later that if I hadn’t got pregnant, he wouldn't have married me.

We got married and had a so-called happy family where they just wanted a maid for their home who could take care of the kids and his mother. 11 years passed by and suddenly one day I saw my first love on Facebook and by mistake, I sent him a friend request. And guess what, he accepted it.

But the next day I got a warning from his wife and realised I should not disturb them. Later in the day, I got a call from an unknown number and to my surprise, it turned out to be him. He apologised to me on behalf of his wife for being rude and felt very guilty.

We started to talk on a regular basis and an extramarital affair blossomed between us. He promised me that he would stand by me no matter whatever the condition may be. I even asked him if our family comes to know about us what he would do.

He assured me that I was the girl he loved with all his heart and he would stick to my side. I fell for him once again as I only wanted the love that was absent in my life.

We had a physical relationship, and it was intense. But I was unaware of the fact that he was fooling around with me as he had a happy married life. He portrayed his wife as a bad lady to me who only tortured and didn't really love him. And since I was in love with him, I trusted him blindly.

Soon the day arrived when both our family came to know about our relationship. And that guy whom I thought would stand by me took his wife side.

I was completely shattered that day. I couldn’t accept the fact that he was just using me for his pleasure. I apologized to his wife and my husband but nobody wanted to listen to me. He and his wife ruined my life and now they are leading a happy life. And here I am, still continuing to live my life as a caretaker of my husband’s house.

I even asked him for divorce but he refused to give it to me. He treats me as a servant and my parents still support him. Only for the sake of the kids, I am still here. I even attempted suicide once.

If I am wrong, God please punish me.Yes, I made a mistake that I fell in love with a married man while I was married too but the emptiness inside me just wanted love and affection.

This led me to a disastrous life.

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