He Made Me Fall In Love With Him And I Did Till I Realised He Only Used Me For Money And Sex
My neighbour in my hometown during my college days was a guy my age. We had both completed our engineering and were looking for jobs. And it didn't take long to get to know each other. We were friends on Facebook in no time. With extended conversations happening on a daily basis, we were soon close enough to develop feelings for each other. Unfortunately he had to leave our town to go look for a job, but he assured me that he would stay in touch after admitting that I was now too special for him to let go.
Though everything was normal initially, the frequency of our conversations soon decreased drastically and it seemed like he was avoiding me. I didn't want to jump to conclusions so I presumed he was busy in his job search. He said the same when I asked him why he wasn't talking like he used to before. And I didn't want to question him further. That is, until I found him tagged on Facebook to his ex-girlfriend's picture. Filled with mixed emotions of confusion, rage and betrayal, I called him up demanding an explanation. I did not realise back then how good he was at manipulating people.
While he was clearly cheating on me, he slyly told me his friends tagged him as a prank since his ex was in the same town. And like the fool I was, I trusted him blindly.Share this quote
Then I happened to get a job in the exact same place he was staying. I felt like the reduced distance would finally bring us closer. But he didn't seem very interested when I told him this. I still went there, thanks to my naivety. And no matter how hard I tried to ignore the fact that I did realize he was in touch with his ex, I could not help being manipulated by him. He was a skilled con-man and I was the victim being conned.
He started calling me repeatedly, asking for another chance saying he has cut off all ties with his ex and wants to start afresh.
The problem with women is that they fall for immense care being shown, even if the guy manages to fake it perfectly. He gained back my trust, and the feelings I'd tried to bury deep resurfaced.Share this quote
Staying alone away from my family wasn't helping either, and I ended up making all the wrong decisions. I even accepted him gladly when he proposed to me. I even moved to his area to make it convenient to meet. I was giving him 110% of my share of the relationship. It was a daily routine for him to pick me up at a point on the main road and drop me to my room. Be it cooking food, meeting me even when he was sick, expressing care in every way possible, he was enacting his role very well. What I didn't realize was that he was doing all of this only to suck me dry of all my money later. He was still without a job and I was now paying for his rent, food, travel, everything. He went as far as to say he will marry me soon. And that was enough to keep me shut. I slowly lost all my friends because he would never let me go out with anyone, claiming I didn't need anyone when I had him. And I was not worried about this because he was always there for me.
This carried on for 6 months and then he finally got a job. I was wrong to think that everything would be alright now. Now that he had another source for money, he started ignoring me. This was hard for me to believe, after the kind of care he had shown for 6 months. We started having fights every time we spoke, and he didn't even care if I went back to him. But money was not the only thing he craved for. He would go back to being his sweet self whenever he wanted sex. And he was so good at faking it that I would be convinced each time. I should have realized I was the equivalent of an ATM machine and a prostitute to him, albeit one he could have for free.
The way one can go blind in love is astounding. Slowly, I understood what he was doing to me. I was being used for money and sex.Share this quote
It was bitter to accept but I finally called him up and confronted him. To my shock, he casually waived me off saying, "Look, I have a lot of issues going on right now. And I'm not even sure how long I'll be with you. I can carry on the way it is now, but don't expect me to marry you." Tears welling up in my eyes, I asked him, "So all these months of love and affection were fake? Why did you sleep with me if you never wanted to marry me? What about all the days I took care of your expenses? You're still in touch with your ex. Is this how you repay me?" He replied, "So what? She is beautiful, smart, and my parents accepted her too. My family would prefer me going out with someone like that over you!" I felt shattered.
I had supported him when he didn't have a penny and now he was dumping me like yesterday's trash. But things didn't end there.Share this quote
If you have ever been on a roller coaster, you would know that a lot of excitement builds within you as you rise up, and then when you finally come down, you wish you weren't on that ride at all. It was the same with me. My life was going up and down in the same cycle and I couldn't get out of it. Two months had passed and we were hardly talking. And then my birthday came along. Although my friends planned a party for my birthday I cancelled everything just because I wanted to be with him. I called him and forced him to come down to my office and he came unwillingly. He was clearly not interested and I continued to persist, hoping his mood was just due to his work.
But I happened to use his phone later and I was hit by a bolt out of the blue. He was still in touch with his ex and they were merry in their own world. Though at first he did not care that I found out, he later came to my room, cried and apologized. And like the fool I am, I forgave him, again!Share this quote
But this time, a voice inside me urged not to take it lightly and I contacted his ex. She spilled everything to me, from the fact that they never broke up, to the fact that even his family had stopped sending him money and were not in touch with him due to his reckless behaviour. It was only me who was there with him and supporting him in everything! He had used me for money and sex, but my heart was still not ready to accept that the care he showed all these months was fake.
He knew my weakness very well and took advantage of it. This cycle continued for two years. He would convince me I meant the most to him sleep with me, spent my money, and then I would be on the verge of leaving him, yet somehow he would hold me bound with his carefully crafted words. I was under-performing immensely at work, my health was deteriorating and I had lost any sense of self-respect or individual identity.Share this quote
After two years, I realized I was only going to be the piece of flesh he would sleep with to satiate his lust, nothing more. And though my heart was still on crossroads whether to believe the occasional spurts of care he showed, I finally decided to move on.
I may take time to erase the scars he has left on my memories. But I feel I can hope to find a better world outside the well he had trapped me in.