I Was "Friends" With A Guy For 4 Years. Until He Revealed What He Really Wanted From Me.
According to an old adage; ‘The first impression is the last impression'. I learned the hard way that there is a lot of truth to it.
I was committed to a guy in college with whom I was ready to spend my whole life. We were very much in love and the future looked bright and full of promise. After college was over, I joined a private company while he chose to go ahead with his preparation for a government job. This was a phase when I was often quite lonely and missed my boyfriend very much. It was during this time that I met the person who was going to be the biggest mistake of my life.
When I saw him for the first time in our newly inducted batch I actually didn’t give him a second thought. I didn’t have any intention of becoming friends with him. There was something about the way he looked at you. You can hide everything but your eyes act as the mirror to your soul. But call it fate; we ended up in the same department. Because of his extroverted nature, he quickly became everybody's favourite. I also started talking to him as I would have done with any other co-worker. In spite of my previous apprehensions, we became friends.
The happy friendship actually lasted 4 years! During this time, people even warned me to stay away from him. But I always found him honest, well behaved and polite (at least in front of me). I shared with him my personal feelings about my bf, my family and also found support in him when I was very weak emotionally when I had lost my father.
I always thought that this guy will never desire me I was an open book for him and he had seen me at my worse.Share this quote
But all this time, he had been hiding his true personality beneath the surface of civility. After 4 years, I told him that I am going to marry my boyfriend. I don’t know what snapped within him but the very next day he confronted me and said that he was in love with me from the very first day he saw me and that he wanted to spend my life with me. He asked me to not to marry my boyfriend and to give him time instead to prove his love. I was stunned. I told him that I had no intention of leaving my bf and he should respect the friendship we have. But from that day onwards, he would always hover around me. I pleaded and scolded him to leave me alone but he would almost never leave my side. I didn’t tell my boyfriend anything as I thought I could handle the situation alone. But that was a mistake.
He started stalking me everywhere. I don’t know how he found my address but one day I found him knocking on my door at an odd hour. I managed to convince him to go away then but then it became a regular occurrence. I never made an official complaint because I didn’t want the hassle. Frankly, I was weak. And he knew it. He used this weakness to manipulate me and get his dirty desires fulfilled.
I asked him "Why don’t you leave me alone". His response is the first time his true intentions came to the surface. He said “Please let me have sex with you. Then I will never bother you”. So, this is what it was all about? THIS is the love he professed for me? Or was it Lust all along? Where did the friendship go? None of it mattered. I gave in. And it didn’t end there. This went on for a year. I was overcome with guilt because I was doing things which I should have never done just to fulfil his desires.
A pawn to his mind games, I was unwillingly cheating on my boyfriend.Share this quote
But I had finally reached my breaking point. I gathered every ounce of courage I had left and told my boyfriend everything even though I was sure he would leave me. But he didn’t. Instead, he protected me. He called my tormentor and told the guy that he will never leave me. But the devil was not through. He met my mother and told her things about me that no parent should have to hear. But now, I had the courage to confront him. I told him that the next him that I see him make an advance towards him, I will go to the authorities and not rest until he is behind bars. To my surprise, that did the trick. Maybe I just never believed in myself.
I got married to my boyfriend, the man who stood up for me and am living happily. But I still come across my ex-tormentor. I see him manipulating some other poor girl without an iota of regret. I have cut him out of my life but often I feel like he got away too easy. That he deserves worse. I feel like inflicting physical violence on him for all the mental and physical pain he caused me. But I know I have keep living my life and I can’t let him hold any emotional sway upon me.
I just wish I had listened to my heart the first time I saw him. Maybe the first impression could have saved me.
Sexual abuse and stalking are serious issues that society cannot slide under the carpet anymore and victims need any and every encouragement to come forward and share their stories. Without shame. Without fear.
Share this story to help one more voice be heard.