Born as a girl and that too a second girl where society accepts a ‘boy’ I was not treated well during my childhood. When I was 3 years old, I was given to my relatives as they didn’t have children. At the age of 10, I refused to stay there and came back to my parents. I felt lonely all the time but I concentrated on my studies. As I grew up, I didn’t have any friends but yes one day I made a good friend, but we fought. With all these bad relationship since childhood, I decided not to be in any relationship.

But that’s what was in my destiny. A guy proposed me and after 1 year I said ‘yes’.  He was everything to me, he was my family. Coming from a conservative family, I was scared to tell my family about him. But from the beginning of our relationship I had cleared all this to him. I also assured him that I will never leave him but at the same time I asked if we would get married someday.

One day I went to him and said "I don’t want to cheat on you and I think I don’t have the courage to tell my parents but I love you." I suggested that we should stop talking. But surely one day I will get that courage and I shall go back to him. But he denied. He said "No matter you tell your parents or not I will be there for you."

On that day, I made a decision to never leave him. We continued talking. Yes we were in a long distance relationship for 4 years. I was just madly and truly in love with him. Then I was diagnosed with a life threatening disease. I took precautions. I always cursed myself that I could not give him all the love that he truly deserved. I never thought of any other person. I told him that I will tell my parents soon and he agreed.

One day he said that he didn’t love me anymore and that he cheated on me with another girl. I was left shattered but I forgave him. I asked him not to worry and to put those things behind us. I promised to be there for him always and forever. I asked him if he loved her and he denied. I begged for one more year of his time, to finally be with him. But he rejected.

He is now planning to marry the same girl he once cheated on me with. He insulted my love by saying that I was a drama queen. He called me dark-skinned and ugly. I asked him if he loved that girl but he denied. I read a few of his emails and realised that he had been cheating on me for a long time. Yet I wished to get a confession from him.

One day he proposed to me and later denied the same. I still love him but I have stopped begging for his love. I believe that someday he will realise my worth and come back to me. I can’t see him depressed and still wish the best for him and always include him in my prayers.

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