I Thought It Only Existed In Romance Novels Until The Passion Dialled Up That Night
I had always been someone driven by the indiscriminate passion for things left unexplored. What never mattered for most people always caught my eye. I had these strange urges to live the life that existed in my imaginative head. Ever since I was in school, I was a huge fan of Mills and Boon novels. The librarian never allowed us to read such books as they had highly sexual content which was too much to handle and be understood by a girl of 15 years of age. But that made me long for them more.
I knew exactly in which shelf’s last row they were stuffed, away from all our eyes. So every time I went to the library, I quietly slipped in a Mills and Boon in my coat or between my textbooks.
I drooled over the characters. So enchanting, so scandalous but yet so captivating. The men were always the hunks who swayed away from the lady with their sex drive and charm and the ladies wholeheartedly enjoyed the process of making love to the man that they usually never saw again after their first sexual encounter. So here I was. All grown up but still waiting for that Mills and Boon fantasy to one day happen in my life. I always saw love and sex as intersecting emotions. I thought if one of them happened, the other happened automatically. But that was not what I usually read in all those novels. There the sex was never connected to love nor with a desire to possess or own the person. It was a moment that two people mutually and thoroughly enjoyed and then never talked about it. In all insanity, I, deep in my heart wished that such a thing must never happen with me.
Being a highly sensitive girl, I knew how I would have given my heart away to a man who could make love to me in one of the most passionate ways.
Never mind that. In the cold month of January, my closest friend showed me a picture of a guy. After that, she kept on ranting about how he would never give a penny for a girl’s emotions for all he needed was one night and never a call back to that girl. I heard everything and still chose to skip the evil parts. He looked sassy and flamboyant. I guess there was something about what I read in all those ‘Mills and Boon’ novels that had messed up my head. I knew I was hooked, with the charm and the ruthless character of this person. I sent him a request, it got accepted and I stalked him to the ends of the world by putting a heart on every picture. I knew he would notice and he did. The conversations started off and I was flirting for the first time in my life, this was the real deal. He politely asked me about when we could meet and even though I wanted it to happen real soon, I still skipped meeting him for the first two times when I went to the city. I might have acted weirdly because of possible consequences that I had concluded in my head about meeting him. First was that I never liked chasing a guy and if he turned out to be too charming, how would I resist? The second was a simple one, I never liked addiction to men, to anything around me and I knew he was the kind of man I won’t be able to escape from. So yes I ditched two bright chances of meeting the man. But how long could I go on?
I could never possibly take him off my mind. The constant urge to meet him at least once, took me to his city.
He called, I agreed, a time was fixed and my heart started pumping at double the rate. He picked me up from my place of stay and the moment I got beside him in the car, I could sense something very happening was planned for the night. His charm was irresistible. He spoke, I listened and I tried to be as normal as I could. I had never been on a date all my life. At 27, I was experiencing my first such adventure and even though I might be past the age of feeling sensation inside me, I won’t lie, I did feel butterflies! The night was smooth and happy. Beers were opened one after the other. I was already highly dipped in all the drug that this man was filling me with his entire persona, and on top of that, the beer was doing its magic in my head. I was sitting across him and couldn’t stop imagining what it would be like to kiss him. In my heart deep down, I seriously wanted the night to never end. I knew there was going to be some surprise in store for me and when I talk of surprise, I hope you know what I mean. The bill was cleared and my heart throbbed. Was he going to drop me straight after that? Will he at least kiss me before dropping me off? Was there really going to be a surprise? With tumbling feet, I went down, sat in the car and we drove off. He didn’t drop me home even though I insisted. He took me to his place, held me tightly, kissed me like mad and my dress was down in seconds! I was living the moment that I had so madly searched for in the furthest most shelves of the library.
This was my moment and I absolutely gave in to every charming move he made. He was crazy and he blew my minds for sure. I was breaking my 18 months no sex spell.
I couldn’t have asked for anything better, this was the perfect way to end a night that most probably the two people had already lived or imagined in their wicked minds. When all was done, I got up and asked him to drop me and he insisted that I must stay for the night. I wanted to but I couldn’t. I had to go because this was all it was supposed to be – a nice evening followed by passionate, steamy sex. My Mills and Boon moment was manifested and I wanted it to end that way without any promises for a callback or for meeting again. This was the kind of encounter we experience but never talk about because it stays in those portions of our heart where we never allow anybody to peep. My moment stays there locked and packed.