I Thought I Hated Men Until The Day I Ruined Everything With A Guy I Really Liked
I turned 23 this February. When I was in 1st standard I got molested by our neighbour. He was 9 years older than me, almost like a brother to me because he had no sister and so my elder sister used to tie him a 'Rakhi'. So did I.
I never liked how he was and what he did, he used to touch my body parts and when I asked him, "Why are you doing this?", he said, "It's a game".Share this quote
One day he showed me his private part, I felt that something was wrong so I stopped talking to him and I also stopped going to his place. Once I shared all this with my sister. She didn't believe me and asked me to stop the nonsense. All this discussion ended right there.
One day, I was playing outside my neighbour's house and uncle was sleeping inside the house. He called me and showed me his private part again. I was so scared that I ran away. That uncle had 2 daughters and 2 sons. One of his daughters was married and she too had one daughter. This ended soon as a year later, we shifted to another city.Share this quote
Then I was passing through a 'gali' (small road). It was almost 2 in the noon and a guy came out of nowhere and pressed my breast. I was too innocent to understand all this. I got scared and started crying.
One aunty came out of the house and asked me, "What happened?" I had no courage to tell her what he did so I told her that the guy held my hand. She gave me water to drink because I was too scared. Then her husband dropped me home. I told my mother everything.
I grew up. During my graduation first year, I had a boyfriend who was two timing me for a physical relationship outside of us. I broke up with him. I started hating men.
During those days I met a tomboy who is a lesbian. I don't know when we started dating. I felt good thinking that I didn't have to deal with men anymore. Whenever she used to touch me I used to feel disgusting. But she too had another girlfriend. And we broke up.Share this quote
During my post graduation, I met a guy, I had a little crush on him because of his looks. One day, we decided to meet. I went to his house as he invited me over to watch his plays (he was into theatre). While talking he was sitting beside me and I understood that he wanted to kiss me. It happened.
I was scared again, I started shivering. He didn't get the expected response from me. The next day I messaged him saying that we shouldn't meet and also what happened yesterday won't happen again. He was confused. We stopped talking.
I'm still scared of physical intimacy. He was a good guy but my fear ruined everything. I wonder if I have a Genophobia. In 4-5 years I'll be married. I don't know what to do. I'll never overcome this fear.Share this quote
Some scars never leave your life for no fault of yours. Share this story if you want to convey this message to someone.