I Knew I Was In An Abusive Relationship And I Still Had To Pay The Price To Get Out Of It
I am a 31-year-old divorcee. My husband left me three years back because his parents and I weren't compatible. He went back to his ex-girlfriend and today, they are happy together. I tried to move on and started looking for suitable guys on a matrimonial website because my family was very stressed about my situation and my younger brother had declared that he would get married only after I settled down.
But on these matrimonial sites, I only found guys who wanted to flirt or take advantage of girls in a situation like mine.Share this quote
While my divorce proceedings were going on, I met a guy in my office cab. We instantly clicked and started commuting to the office together in his car. I used to get lunch for him and he often complained how his parents didn't take care of him, didn't pack his lunch, didn't even talk to him properly. He told me about his past relationship, where he was in a live-in relationship with someone, who left him after a while. He also told me that he was getting serious about me and wanted to get married to me as soon as my divorce formalities were complete. We became close emotionally, mentally and physically. But this happiness was only short lived.
Soon, his girlfriend started calling and threatening me. When I told him about this, he made some lame excuse and I believed him because I was blindly in love with him. Then, we planned to go out of town for his birthday. We reached our hotel and retired to bed.
Suddenly, his girlfriend woke me up and told me that she had been lying on the backseat of our car in the entire journey and had listened in to all our conversation too. She told me that my boyfriend had asked her to come along to celebrate his birthday.Share this quote
I did not believe a word she said to me but then he confessed that he was still in a relationship with her, although he didn't love her anymore. I got so scared hearing all this, I felt like I was being trapped. I started looking for a taxi to reach back home, but my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend tried to convince me that she didn't love him anymore and that I should be with him, instead. We returned home and on the way, both of them kept trying to convince me that they were not together anymore.
I believed them and continued being in a relationship with him.
But as time passed, he became extremely possessive about me and demanded to know everything - who was calling me, where was I going, what was I wearing and who were my friends. He would start abusing me if my phone went busy or if I didn't pick his call immediately.Share this quote
He would ask if I was at home or out. If I'd tell him I was home, he would cross check by asking me to talk to my parents over the call, so that he could hear their voice. His behaviour kept getting worse. He scared me so much that I stopped driving. Many times, I even caught him with his ex, but they would both make some excuse and I would let it pass.
A few months later, I came to know that his father knew my parents. It gave me a positive feeling about us. I felt that things would turn out fine. Later, he told me that even though he had broken up with his ex, he continued being friends with her because he was concerned about her. All three of us started going out together and I used to pay all our bills.
Earlier, I used to pay for him and me, now I was paying for his ex too.Share this quote
Then one day, I read their messages and calls and came to know that they were still together.
I called his ex at her home and told her parents everything. I even threatened her to leave him or else I told her that I would call his parents, next. After this episode, her parents fixed her marriage to someone and she got married.Share this quote
From the moment her wedding got fixed, my boyfriend changed completely towards me. He would cry and tell me that he loved her and that I had spoiled their relationship. He would curse me and blame me for playing the villain in their love story. He bitched about me to his friends, his colleagues and even to random strangers he'd meet. But a couple of months after her wedding, he proposed marriage to me.
He wanted me to quit my job. He would object if I even talked to my female friends in office as all of them asked me to stay away from him. I paid heed to their advice and considering the events in the past, didn't accept his proposal. I already had a failed marriage and did not want another one.
But he became so crazy that he started hitting me and having forceful unprotected sex with me. I conceived due to this. When I told him I was pregnant, he said it was not his child and that I must have slept with someone else.Share this quote
I somehow kept my calm and tried to get rid of this problem. We went to a doctor to have the pregnancy aborted, but the doctor told us that my pregnancy was ectopic, which meant it could be terminated only through the removal of one of my Fallopian Tubes, which could have life-altering effects. Instead of supporting me, he spoke to one of his friends in front of me and even then kept on bitching about me. Anyway, we went ahead with the operation and my tube was removed.
I paid all my hospital bills and this guy just kept on telling me that his friends were saying that I was trying to trap him through this pregnancy and that he only wanted to get rid of me now.Share this quote
I am not sure what to do.
Never let anyone else be in this situation. Share this story to ensure that every woman knows the warning signs of abuse and leaves as soon as she can.