I Feel Sorry For Cheating On My Husband For Him

Anonymous Anonymous in Dirty Picture on 27 August, 2017

I was a smart, bubbly girl brought up in a strict upper class family. My parents never allowed me to attend parties. They raised eyebrows when I would hangout with my friends, especially if they were guys. Sometimes I felt that they were unusually strict and I’d envy my friends whose parents were lenient.

I was pretty good at studies and I got a nice job in Bangalore after my graduation. I wanted to do my post graduation too but was waiting to get admission in a good college. In the meanwhile, I joined work.

When I came to Mumbai, I felt extremely lonely as all my friends were in my hometown. The days just dragged on. One day, my mom casually told me that there was a proposal for me.

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In a state of loneliness, I thought that it was sensible to get married.

They went ahead with the proposal and I met the guy. He seemed to be a sweet and open-minded person who was perfectly fine with me pursuing my post graduation too. Everything seemed perfect and I agreed for the marriage.

Right before our wedding, I got accepted to my dream college for post graduation. But the college was in Hyderabad while my fiancé was settled in Mumbai. I was confused because I couldn't think of staying away from my fiancé.

Ultimately, keeping our future in mind, we decided that I should go ahead with my post graduation. We got married and kept shuttling between the two cities. After completing the course, I got placed in a dream company with a 7-figure salary! The only problem was that it was in Hyderabad, which meant that I would have to stay away from my husband once again.

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We knew that I had to get a job in Mumbai and we kept looking for one, but nothing worked out. That’s when I met this colleague of mine. He was a charming, fun-loving person, full of energy. We became friends very quickly.

I was highly attracted to him. His mere presence would excite me. I longed for a hug from him.

I started feeling that he also liked me. One day, I had to stay at his place because of some reason. That night, once the lights were turned off, he came close to me and kissed me on my checks and forehead. We were so lost in the moment that we got carried away. We had an amazing night but both of us felt extremely guilty in the morning.

However, the love and passion for each other made us forget everything.

We continued this relationship for almost 3 to 4 years. I loved being with him. His touch made me feel emotions that I had never experienced. I was getting more and more attached to him.

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Then my husband got transferred to Hyderabad. And that meant trouble for us. Earlier, I was eagerly waiting for my husband to get transferred, but now, with this guy around, my husband seemed like a disturbance. I started ignoring my husband and would even deny his need for sex. I felt that he was far inferior to this guy when it came to sex; he was unable to satisfy my needs.

I knew that I was wrong and I had to stop somewhere, but I didn’t know how to stop.

I was totally into this guy. I loved him more than anyone and anything, to the extent that I was ready to give up anything for him. I didn’t want to loose him and I just couldn't love my husband anymore.

Then, this guy’s family started looking for a bride for him. He found a girl and soon got busy with her. He still valued me and made love to me, in fact we made love even a day before he left for his wedding.

When I attended his wedding, seeing him intimate with another girl made me feel really depressed. I felt like I’d lost a part of me. I went back to work feeling extremely low. After his marriage, things changed as he started keeping a distance from me. He said what we did was wrong.

That’s when it hit me! He just wanted somebody for sex till he got married. And now that he has found someone else, he does not care about me.
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But I have lost all love and affection for my husband. I have no reason to let go of him because he is a nice guy. So now, I’m just living a lonely mechanical life between home and work.

I see this guy enjoying and having a good time with his wife. He knows my condition but does not care. He says that he can’t help me and that I need to help myself. I hate him for doing this to me. I hate him because he cheated me! And I wish that life gives back to him for what he did to me.

I know I was wrong to fall for a guy like him. And life has punished me and not him!

I have completed 5 years of marriage and am just pulling through life. People keep asking us about our plans for kids. They think that we are still enjoying our honeymoon period. But nobody is able to see the deep sorrow within me.