infidelity divorce Cheating unhappy marriage husband and wife

I Decided To Leave Him And Then I Saw Our Kids Playing With Him Happily

( words)
*For representational purpose only.

What’s the one-stop remedy for sorrow, or curing depression?

If you do a basic search on Google, you’ll get answers like yoga, meditation and more. But God has a natural remedy for us, and that’s by putting tears in our tear glands.

My husband is a well-read, intellectual and soft-spoken man. He’s polite but also very, very diplomatic. At the beginning of our marriage, I realized that he wasn’t a straightforward man, but I ignore this fact and loved him from the core of my heart. Of course, 14 years later, some of our sparks were lost. And it was during this time that I found out that about my husband’s affair.

He was cheating on me, with a married woman, Swati, for five years now. Swati was extremely beautiful, whereas I’m an average looking, dark woman- so that could be one reason. When I confronted him about this, he told me that it started off as a casual fling, but somewhere they connected on an emotional level too. But to save their marriages, they decided to end things and break all contact.

I didn’t say anything for a second and then asked him if he had any affairs before Swati, and he said yes. Her name was Sana, but they weren’t serious at all, it was purely a physical one, he assured me. I couldn’t say a word. I ran to our bedroom and locked the door. I cried, I wailed and wailed. All I could ask myself was, “WHY ME?”

The next morning, my husband convinced me to open the door so he could speak to me. He told me that it was possible for people to love more than one person, and he knew that Swati’s husband and I wouldn’t handle this too well, and so they decided to keep things casual. I couldn’t even look at him and told him to leave me alone for a while.

He went off to work and our children left for school. Once they left, I cried some more; my eyes hurt now, but I felt a whole lot better. When my kids came back, I looked at them, they were happy, smiling and sitting on the lap of their beloved father, talking about everything.

I want to divorce him, but all I’m thinking about are my children. How are they going to deal with this? Should I be selfish? Should I give him another chance? Days passed and my husband tried to convince me to stay with him. He told me he doesn’t want to be a parasite in my life. He tried to hug me and kiss me, but I took a step away from him.

I told him that he can have all the affairs he wants, but it shouldn’t be with a married one because if by any unlucky chance her partner finds out, it’s quite possibly the worst feeling on earth. After this conversation, we never spoke about any of this. I never initiated one either. I try my level best to trust him again, but I just don’t want to think about him and his doings.

The worst is, when we’re in bed together. And he’s on top of me. There are no emotions left inside me; I can’t look at him, I can’t feel anything for him. I feel like a beggar just getting laid for food and a comfortable house in return for sex.

There’s no love or trust between us and he claims to have stopped all of this and that he loves me. I’m wondering if I can truly believe him?

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