I Cheated On My Best Friend With My Ex Boyfriend: I Regret It But I Can't Tell Him

Anonymous Anonymous in Dirty Picture on 20 July, 2017

It had been a few months after my ex boyfriend had ended our 4 year long relationship for some other girl. At first I was all devastated because we had our share of dreams together that I wanted to live all my life but with time I started to accept things.

I got into a relationship with my best friend. Life had taken a sudden leap of happiness.

We were in the same college, same class and every possible good thing was happening in my life. I had never felt so content. We used to do thrilling stuff by making out in empty classrooms, having sex in academic blocks, going on night outs. From lust to love, all of it was simply perfect until the summer break. We had to get back to our respective hometowns for two months, which meant a long distance relationship with him for 2 months. Everything was smooth in the beginning until he slowly got busy and stopped giving me attention and time.

I started feeling upset. He made me feel like I was nowhere in his life and I was all alone. I started feeling emptiness and my feelings for my ex boyfriend had started to pop up again as he always used to give me every second of his time. I tried to confront my boyfriend with how and what I was feeling but he seemed to do nothing about it and it only helped my feelings for my ex grow stronger. I eventually ended up messaging my ex asking him how he was doing, which led to long conversation that ended at 7 in the morning. The entire night he kept saying how much he loved me and wished that he had never left me for someone else.

The next day he was all alone at his place. He invited me. I knew something wrong would happen but I had faith in myself that I wouldn't cheat on my boyfriend so I went to his place. As I reached, he opened the door for me and we smiled. I knew there was a rush of memories in both our heads because years ago, there wasn't a place left at his home where we didn't have sex. We smoked hookah for a while and we lay on the bed hugging pillows. He said, "Isn't it weird how we used to hug each other every time we were together and now we are hugging pillows instead".

I looked into his eyes and he pulled me closer in his arms. I could feel his breath, his lips were craving to touch mine. "You were right I can't stop myself when I am with you", he said and crushed my lips with his.

I kissed him back and before I could even realise that I was cheating on my boyfriend, he was on top of me, kissing every part of me. Making me feel how much he wanted me.

His hands slipped inside my top and I could feel his hands squeezing my breasts. I hadn't felt this way in a long time. I knew it was wrong but I wanted it to happen. We were naked, making love to each other. It was rough. It was as if he owned me and I was his. That night I stayed at his place. We stayed up all night making love and just doing it as much as possible.

The next morning when I was about to leave, he said we couldn't be together and I carried marks of guilt on my body as well as my soul. My boyfriend still doesn't know that I cheated on him nor will I ever tell him because I don't want him to suffer for the bad that I've done to him.