Since my childhood days, I have had an ever-growing list of crushes. But I have always been longing for a man who loves me unconditionally. My dream man is the one who will be mine, only mine. My man! Everything went well till I entered College. My own best guy friend introduced me to Sujay. I didn’t know that he had set a trap for me to fall on. He turned out to be a real playboy. Thank God I didn't fall for him but I wasted all my love on a person didn't deserve it at all. Then I met someone else. We had met on a social network. I really fell for him on the first sight itself. I thought I could never love anyone after Sujay. I knew that he too liked me. After a few months, we met for the first time.

He behaved in a filmy way. He seemed restless when he saw me, as if he was mesmerized by my beauty.

I could tell that he liked me a lot and I was on cloud 9. We never expressed our love but this happiness didn't stay much longer. My parents had already started looking for matches. He knew this too. Soon our story ended. He loved me a lot. He even asked me if he could talk to my parents. But I said no, as I know my family well. Eight months of our love story ended with a tragedy. I told him that we shouldn’t be in contact anymore so that I can enter the new phase of my life. He understood and accepted it.

I got married on 2010. Today I am a mother to a 5 year old baby girl. I am still in touch with him. He will always be the best I had, I will always miss him.

After my wedding, life has totally changed. I lost myself. I didn't have the maturity needed to handle my in-laws. I had lost interest in everything. I even stopped smiling. As I was a very jolly type of girl, I totally changed and became a serious person. I always had a dull face.

Then one day I came to know about a boy who lives nearby. I knew that he is younger to me, but I noticed he was looking at me. I didn't mind him at that time.

Later, my friend told me that he is looking good. From then I then I started to notice that boy. Whenever we would talk about him, we felt young as if we were back to our college days. One day, I saw him in a public place. He was staring at me the whole time. I sent him a friend request on social media and we became friends online. I waited daily to see him as he lived nearby. Later, I got addicted to sighting him. I would flirt with him, but he never misused it or misbehaved with me. He knew well that I'm elder to him and he gave me so much respect.

He accepted that he too liked me. He said he was seeing a girlfriend in me for quite some time. Later, he controlled himself as is not right of him to think that way. I never expected anything from him back.

I would just admire him, all the time. He is my energy drink. I was really addicted to being around him. One day I asked him playfully what made him think of me as his girlfriend. He said something that surprised me. After that, he started neglecting me for some reason. I was shattered into pieces because I gave him my love and he didn’t know how to value it.

I am addicted to him and can’t get over him because he is my illusion of happiness.

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