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His Feelings For Me Were Real, The Others Were Just 'For Fun'

( words)
*For representational purpose only.
The year was 2011, when I first saw him. We met at a bar. I was already in depression and heartbreak because of my first boyfriend. I had shared everything with him, trusted him and all he did was humiliated me. He was Pakistani. I was high on alcohol and trying to enjoy every single minute of my life. I was at my friend’s party when we first saw each other. I was quite high and when I went to wish my friend and that’s when I saw him. He was drinking, standing there all serious. I couldn’t help but invite him to the next club that we were going to.

We danced and drank all night and when we were leaving, he kissed me. It was around 2:55 am, I was so drunk I had no idea what I was saying or doing. As time passed, we exchanged numbers and that’s when I felt that I had met the love of my life.
He was good, naughty, loveable, sweet and even had two dimples on his adorable face. We fell in love quickly and it didn’t us long to get intimate too.

For a few days, my ex-boyfriend kept trying to call and blackmail me, especially since he had seen me walking around with this dimpled-darling. It created some misunderstandings, between me and him, but somehow, I managed to save my relationship.

It didn’t take long for the rose-tinted glasses to fall off, and when they did we were left with nothing more than a sad heartbreak. Of course, I knew that he had lost interest in me. There wasn’t much that I could do any more to save our relationship. Unfortunately, during this time, I had a lot of abortions. I began sinking into depression and his behavior towards me changed entirely. He said that I didn’t give him space, accused me of being disloyal and we even got into fights because I thought he was cheating on me with a girl called, Hemani (name changed). I knew that he was hiding something from me, and when I got my proof and accused him of it, he physically abused me, he kicked me in my stomach.

I was shocked. He had scarred me for life; first the abortion and then the abuse. I began ignoring him for a few days until he came back to me. He was his normal and caring self, but I was still hurt. Every time he came to meet me, he bought me gifts, including a new phone. Our conversations went on and on, even after we both went back to our hometowns.

After a few months, I found out that he had changed his number and didn’t tell me anything. I was devastated, hurt and shocked. I didn’t know what was happening. I was in love with him, I tried to contact him every day, but nothing. I asked his friends to give me his number until one day, his older brother messaged me and asked me to stay away from him.

One day, I met a beautiful girl, Sweta (name changed) and she helped me out of my situation. She held my hand through my ordeal, kept me busy and cared for me like a mother. I was on my feet, working and studying in no time. It’s been four years now, my ex suddenly texted me out of the blue, asking me to meet him in Mumbai. I was there in Mumbai, but I didn’t want to.

He then texted me and said that he simply wanted me to help him find a job. From there, he told me that he wanted my help to find a room, one where girls could easily come in. I refused to help him with all of this. Days went by, I began working and having fun in my life. Suddenly, after a year, I texted him asking him how his dad was. He told me that his dad and been admitted and he didn’t have any money. I was heart-broken because I did truly love him and I couldn’t help but feel bad for him. I couldn’t stop myself and decided to help him out. I gave him some money and even sent him a reference for a good job.

We began talking a lot more now and even managed a couple of coffee meetings. I asked him if he had a girlfriend, but he said no. That night, we went to a club and had a lot of fun. Suddenly, he kissed me and told me that he missed me and wanted me to be his girlfriend.

I told him that I had reached out to him because I wanted to help out, with the money, nothing else. But it didn’t take him long to convince me to say yes to him, all over again.

A few days later, I felt something was off; there was this girl, Shifa, who used to call him, every single time. I knew he was cheating on me again. When I asked him, he told me “keep my behavior in check before checking his phone again.”
After a few days, he told me that he had f**k buddies, a lot of them. He said that he only felt this way to me, but the others, they were simply “for fun”.

Turns out, he was simply using me to get a better job, gifts, and money. And all he had done, was used me, betrayed my love.
One day, I told my brother about him and when my brother tried to talk to him about me, he simply told him that we are nothing but “buddies”. When I confronted him about this, he told me he was sorry and that he loved me and wanted me to marry him.

As days passed by, he kept getting frustrated with me. I went into depression all over again. I went to his house and told him that I was absolutely done being his “buddy”.
He tried to beg and apologize, but I wasn’t ready to listen to anything he said. I told him I was done and that I even would file a complaint against him. I’ve shifted to Delhi now, but I know that no matter what I do, he is going to haunt me forever.

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