He Didn't Want To Lose Me So This Is The Horrifying Way I Had To Prove My Love To Him

Anonymous Anonymous in Dirty Picture on 9 September, 2018

I am a 20-year-old girl. I am a student of law. I am ambitious and I value my freedom. I broke up with a guy about 18 months back.

I know this has changed me as a person. I regret that relationship even today.

We met when a cousin of ours was getting married. He had been a stranger to me till then. We exchanged our numbers and soon started chatting on WhatsApp. After a couple of months, he proposed to me. I accepted his proposal after thinking about it for a few days.

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We studied in the same university but we were doing different courses. Things between us were quite smooth sailing.

I was happy because initially, I found him to be an understanding person. But as we moved on with our relationship I realized that he often felt insecure about our relationship. He was overly possessive about me and did not trust me completely.

We met every day but he would always insist on checking my phone. He never trusted me. Both of us were quite serious about each other. We dreamt of creating a future together and often discussed our careers, families and marriage.

But he would always ruin everything because he was incapable of trusting me completely.
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In fact, he would ask me to bunk my lectures because he was scared of losing me. I had known him for almost 6 months now. So I tried to assure him of my love.

I would often tell him that I loved him more than he loved himself. I would do my best to prove my love for him. I would go out of my way to prove to him that I had no intentions of leaving him. But I could never completely convince him about this.

We then decided to go on a trip together. I had to go to Jaipur for my treatment. So we planned to go to Jaipur first. We then decided to meet his school friends there and then go to Delhi. We went there during our Holi holidays. We had a great time there.

But we started fighting regularly when we returned to our respective hostels. One fine day I told him that I was not able to handle all these fights that we had every day. I told him that I wanted to end everything. He agreed. Within a couple of days, I saw him going out with another girl from my hostel.

I was frustrated when I saw this. I could not control my emotions. I went to that girl’s room and shouted at her. I told her not to go near him because he was mine. When I asked him about that girl, he told me that she was his girlfriend now.

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I was so heartbroken that I went to the 7th floor of our hostel to commit suicide. When my roommates saw what I was trying to do, they rushed after me to stop me from committing suicide. I talked to my mom that day. I cried a lot and told her that I loved him a lot. I wondered how he could do this to me. How could he cheat on me like this? I did not get any answers to my questions. I cried all through the night that day.

He called me the next day and said that he had just been testing my love for him. He managed to convince me by saying this.

I was so blindly in love with him that I couldn’t imagine my life without him. But he never praised me or appreciated me or encouraged me. He just demotivated me all the time.

After our 1st-year exams got over, we all went home for our vacation. He belonged to Gujarat and I was from Manipur. I was very excited about his birthday. It was on the 5th of August. So I decided to meet him on that day. He came to pick me up from the airport. I was supposed to reach his city late that evening. Unfortunately, my flight was delayed and I ended up reaching there just before midnight. We spent the whole night together. 

It was a beautiful and a special night because we were meeting each other after 2 whole months.

But now he started forcing me to have sex with him. He wanted that as a gift from me and I was not yet ready to do this with him. He continued to pester me about this for the next three days. We would invariably end up fighting about this every day when we met on the terrace. I was tired of fighting with him so I just stopped talking to him and went to sleep. He too decided to go to sleep. But he started touching me and kissing me now. I asked him to stop touching me but he was just doing his best to convince me about it. He was keen on getting intimate with me but I just stuck with my words.

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I clearly told him “NO”. I don’t know what came over him after that.

He started pushing me repeatedly. Then he suddenly held my neck tightly and slapped me thrice. I tried to protect myself. I ran around the room but he followed me. I then broke down completely, turned around and went to sleep.

When I woke up the next day, I spoke to him quite rudely. I was feeling very depressed after all this happened. I simply could not forget all that he had done to me that night. I started smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. One fine day, I realized that this relationship would not work for me anymore. So I just broke up with him. I looked at the calendar. It was the 15th of August that day.

I smiled to myself. I had got back my independence on Independence Day.
Author's Note:

Dear youngsters,

Be self-sufficient. Know your worth and lead an independent life. Don't make the mistakes that I made. Be wary of people who are out to take advantage of you. It does not really matter whether you are a girl or a boy because this applies to all youngsters. 

Editor's Note:

Let’s share this story to help young people understand the difference between love and abuse. When we know ourselves, we know what we want to do in our lives. When we pursue our passions, we become more confident about ourselves. We are now able to think for ourselves and can lead independent lives. Let’s not be in such a great hurry to explore and experiment with ‘love’ and ‘relationships’. Let’s focus on forging a great bond with ourselves first.