I had a previous relationship which was just more of a college time attraction and we happened to break up as soon as we left college. There were never feelings to start with. It was just friendship and comfort mistaken as love. We supported each other, helped each other, and thought it was love. But it was not. We laughed at our innocence and remain friends even now. I started working in an MNC after college. Six months after the date of my joining, I saw him. Yeah, the new guy entered my life. He made my heart flutter. I was taken aback. Our mutual friend introduced both of us and it was obvious that the two of us felt some kind of magic between us.
We talked. We laughed a lot. Then started our time. "Our" days.
We got to know each other. He was very different from my previous boyfriend. I agree friendship makes it easier to survive in a relationship, but this guy had a serious problem. Insecurity, trust issues, looking down on the female gender, anger and what not. I felt like hell after getting to know him. He had a rotten heart. He would say that he would kill his mom if she marries again as she was a widow. Yeah, I could blame it on Haryana, their mentality differs from Bangaloreans. He would talk to me about BDSM, and even asked me to be his slave. I clearly stated that I am not ready for it as I am not interested. He would purposefully try to get me on his bed.
I am not saying that having sexual intercourse or lovemaking is a bad thing, especially when we are a couple. But mutual consent is very important. Right?
I said no when I felt it was lust where I had to feel love. He tried raping me. I slapped him. I hit him till his nose started bleeding. He got angry instead of apologizing for trying to rape me. I was not sorry. Still, I apologized as I made his nose bleed. He said it's over. I was not even interested in fixing it. I booked an Ola and left. Few days after all this drama, I found out that he had a crush on another girl in his team, she used him and ditched him, so he was doing all that to show her that he has turned into a beast.
I miss my best friend who was my boyfriend for 5 years. He treated me well. I did the same too. We had respect for each other. We helped each other grow.
We learnt from each other. We felt complete. I still don't know why I never loved him but I tried to love this moron. I know life doesn't end here. There is always a good behind everything that happens