For 6 Years I Sacrificed Everything For My Boyfriend's Future To Get Stabbed In The Back

Anonymous Anonymous in Dirty Picture on 29 June, 2017

I am 23 years old now, and I am devastated and depressed. And it is all just because I trusted him more than anyone in this world. In 2011, I went to Kota for IIT-JEE preparation. I was so determined and I was even doing well there. But suddenly a boy came to me and told me that I was 'so cute!', and this happens with me for the first time. But still, I just reacted normally and let it go. After a few days, I got to know that his younger brother had died, and I grew a soft corner for him.

He was shattered, and I helped him get out of all that. And our friendship grew stronger and stronger, until he decided to take it to the next level. He proposed to me over a phone call but I was not ready at that time, so I told him when I too felt the same for him, I would let him know. He agreed. And then there was a plot twist! I got to know that he had a girlfriend from his native place, and she also came to Kota. Then I decided not to be in contact with him. But he convinced me that he did not love her. He "proved" to me that she tortured him. After a big drama, he left everything and came to me.

I respected his feelings and thought that it was God's wish that we should be together. He came to my home with me. In an Indian family, it is a very unrealistic situation if a girl comes home with a boy. This created a hell-ish situation but I stood up for him, going against my parents. Due to this, my relationship with my family got totally destroyed. But I used to think that one day they will understand that he is not wrong, my choice is not wrong.

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I sacrificed everything- my studies, my choices, my dignity for him so that he could achieve more. But during all this, his ex always became the reason of our fights. He took advantage of me financially, mentally, physically, in every way. But I was deeply in love with him.

Years passed, and we celebrated anniversaries, birthdays, and festivals together. He got admission in NIT and he was doing very well academically. He was financially weak, so I just took care of everything- his clothes, his phone, and everything, so that he didn't feel inferior among his friends. Meanwhile, I too was in a private college. I never bought anything for myself and he never bothered to give me anything. But still, he used to say that I matter to him the most and he loves feeding my sensitive heart, emotional stuff that would make me believe him unconditionally.

Then during the last year of college, around placement time, I needed him the most but he just didn't give a damn. He left me crying, struggling with my life's other problems because he was excelling in his own college and was too busy to take a break from his awesome life. But still, I tried to understand him, I did everything on my own. But in 2017 January, when I told him we should make our relationship official, he just told me that he never loved me. He loved someone else and he was in a relationship with someone else. He even refused to tell me that girl's name. I tried everything to convince him saying that all we had done all those years was for love, how could it not be love?

But all went in vain. He didn't listen to me and stopped talking to me. I tried not to contact him, but I was overcome with emotion and called him again. And he always behaved like I was shit to him. When I eventually managed not to talk to him, he called me back after 20 days, asking me if I was doing okay. If I asked him whether he loved me, he wouldn't utter a word in response.

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Then he insisted that I visit him at his native place for a function. I lied to my parents and went there, hoping that this would repair our relationship. But I became a joke in front of his family, as they continued to make a mockery out of me. Then, I got a chance to go through his Facebook account and I read his messages with a girl from his college. They've been seeing each other since January and I was a fool to think that he loved me.

Whenever I asked him to be honest, he would ask me to study hard and stay focused, saying that love and relationships are secondary. But he never accepted that he was in a relationship with someone else.

When I confronted him, he said he would have never let me find out. He said that it was good I found out by myself. He said that he would be with me only for the 'help' I had given him. My sacrifices, my love, all of my efforts were help to him. He used me like hell, and whatever I did was just 'help' for him. I invested 6 years of my life for him and now I am nowhere.

I don't know how to concentrate, how to get back my life. I AM DEPRESSED.
Author's Note:

If karma exists, I want justice. How can having a good and pure heart be a crime in this world? What he did to me is not justified, and a good human being cannot do this. Still, I love him. Still, I can go to any length for him but it's breaking me. I'm dying inside and I can't tell this to anyone. I just hope I get better. I'm waiting for a miracle to happen.