Dear Home-Wrecker, Thanks To You I Will Never Trust Another Woman Again

Anonymous Anonymous in Dirty Picture on 4 June, 2018

I dated my boyfriend Raghav for almost 5 years before getting married to him. Initially, we shared a beautiful relationship. We had a lot of fun, became intimate and there was a lot of romance between us. We did not even realize when we finished our MBA. He then got placed and moved to another city which was just 2 hours away from my city. He would visit me every weekend so that we could spend time together. 

In time, our families started pressurizing us to get married. He belonged to a different caste so it took me 2 long years to convince my family about getting us married. One night we had a very bitter fight which disturbed me a lot.

Raghav gave me an ultimatum. He said if my dad did not agree to get us married within the next few days he would break up with me.
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I don’t know how it happened but when I discussed this with my dad the very next day he said, “Yes.”

It was as if God had waved his magic wand over our relationship and had showered us with this special blessing. But I suppose every miracle is associated with a curse too.

Though my dad had agreed to our marriage, Raghav was not very excited about it. He told me that he didn’t want to marry me because he felt I wasn’t really compatible with him.

We fought over this for a long time, discussed it at length and reassured each other. We then decided to get married.
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But soon I realized that my father’s attitude towards my marriage had changed in a very negative way. He was not getting involved in the wedding preparations. He was not keen on talking with Raghav and his family.

A few days later, I came to know something so tragic that it shattered my soul completely.

One of my aunts told me that a strange girl had made a blank call to my dad. She had requested him and begged him not to get me married to Raghav. She said that Raghav and his family were against this marriage. She then said that she had even seen a girl coming out of his house several times.

All of us were completely lost. We didn't know what to do. There was no peace in the family now.

The girl then called my dad again after a few days. She said that she had mistaken Raghav for some other guy and was really apologetic about the whole thing.

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I just happened to recognize her voice when she was talking to my dad. I knew she was Raghav’s colleague. My heart and mind went numb.

I confronted Raghav about the call but did not inform my family about it. That was my biggest mistake. Raghav told me that she was just a friend and didn’t mean anything to him. He said that probably she had called because she was worried about Raghav. She probably felt that Raghav was being pressurized to get married to me.

I believed him and after a few months, we got married too.
Raghav is a very nice person. He is generally helpful, kind, smart and independent. He can never ever think of hurting anyone.

The first few days of our married life were quite rosy. We were quite happy with each other.

But there were days when I would notice that he was lost and unhappy.
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Raghav and I had hung out with that colleague of his a couple of times. I thought the woman was very clever.

She was faking her love for Raghav. She was deliberately showing me how close she was with him. One fine day I saw some pictures of that girl on Raghav’s laptop. They were together in compromising positions. That was the worst moment of my life. Raghav accepted that he had an affair with her.

He said he thought we had no future together because my dad had been against our marriage and I had been unwilling to elope with him. We had a terrible time after this. We had ugly fights and our families were really upset when they came to know about it.

But they asked us to give our marriage a chance and move on with our lives.

I must admit that Raghav was really patient with me during this phase. He did feel guilty about what he had done but he was good enough to bear with me when I fought with him. There were times when I had taunted him and disrespected him. I had even hurled angry insults at him. He did not really have to deal with all this. But he did. He also went out of the way to win back the love that we had lost.

It took us two long years to accept the fact that we now had to live with this terrible baggage all through our lives. Raghav too realized that there was no easy way out of this. There was a time when he was all set to leave me and enter into a relationship with her.

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But they did not know that God was watching over us. Their bad intentions did not work out.

Sometimes I feel I have no love for him. I feel he was really unfair and unjust to me. But when I see him, I know he deserves another chance. I feel it is my duty to stand by him when he needs me the most. There is one thing that I would like to do here. I was to send a clear message to that girl:

Please understand that I didn't take him away from you. He was never really yours. Our marriage proves it. Also, he could never really take a stand for you.

I remember you mentioning that Raghav doesn’t really love me. You told me that he cared a lot for me. I was just wondering…Don’t you think caring is the biggest form of love?

Please don’t think that the world is under your control. Maybe you think that you can fool everybody by manipulating things. You had no right to screw my relationship and ruin the happiness of my family.

I know Raghav has done something more terrible to you than to me. But I honestly think that you let him do this to you. After all, you did know right from the very beginning that he was still in a relationship with me. 

You could change his love for me completely only because he is a vulnerable man.

If you had handled your relationship with him with honesty and integrity – maybe you could have been with him now. Please remember that Karma is the reflection of what you give to the universe.

You will understand how this kind of pain sears through your soul only when your marriage goes through a crisis because of another woman. You will then realize how humiliating the entire experience can be. I can never forget how insecure I felt at that time. It is because of you that I will never be able to trust another woman again. Next time you do such things please think before you act.
Editor's Note:

We all lose our sense of balance when our ego/heart is hurt. We want to protect ourselves from the person who is inflicting so much pain on us. We feel he/she has betrayed our trust. We just can’t find anything positive in that person anymore. Let’s learn to sift through our pain. Maybe only then we will realize that the other person is struggling with pain/remorse/anger too. Let’s share this story and learn this beautiful trait from this determined young woman.