What Losing My Father Taught Me About Life

Anonymous Anonymous in Let's Face It on 15 August, 2017

My father is my inspiration. This is the first time I have written anything, and I want to dedicate this to him. This is my opportunity to tell the story of a man who matters the most to me- my father.

My father, a successful banker, Tulsiram Shirwayya passed away on 7th June 2015 of a heart attack. He was 56 years old, and left behind his old parents, his wife, and us four children. It’s very hard for any child to accept the death of their father, especially when it is unexpected. Everyone deals with death differently, and my family is a prime example. We all grieved in different ways, some of us still visibly grieving 2 years later.

As you can imagine, I have been thinking about him a lot– his life, his lessons and his legacy. It’s the story of his legacy, of the lessons he taught at home and at work, which influence everything I do. It’s all about love. My dad always shared a message that motivated people to be good. Whether at the bank, at home, or socially. He always said, that it is very important to be a good person first. His friends and colleagues still tell us the stories of how their relationship with him touched their lives and inspired them. My Father was a giver – he never expected anything of anyone else that he didn’t expect first of himself. He was an exceptional man in so many ways and his example is my compass in being the daughter, sister, partner, mentor, friend, and a good person. Just like he taught me. He often discussed his ideas and talked about life and dreams, treating me as his equal, although I was just his daughter.

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When my dad passed away, I was broken. I’ve spent the last 2 years trying to piece myself back together, and make sense of life without my best friend. I’m still figuring things out, but at least I had the chance to know him. Life is raw, real, and will make you feel every emotion – and that’s okay!

My father’s death changed me in several ways. I became detached to everything that existed while he was alive. Anything that he could have possibly touched or even liked, I became detached like I was watching myself from an outside point of view. Events in my life started to seem like they were happening outside of me because it didn’t seem like I was the one living my life.

I learnt never take anything for granted. It is easy to forget appreciating the loved ones who are with us everyday. But one day, they will no longer be there, and you’ll yearn for just one more hug from them and to tell them that you love them. Be grateful and humble for everyone and everything you have because nobody knows what the future holds.

Truly let go of anger, regret, fear and sadness— anything holding you down. By letting go, you are taking control of your life rather than letting your emotions control you. Surround yourself with good people. You will know who the good ones are. Everyone needs someone, whether it is a best friend, a significant other or a sibling.People come into our lives for a reason. People will die, people will leave, and sometimes, they just no longer want to be in your life anymore. Whatever it may be, it is important to remember that there is a purpose for each person who enters and exits your life.

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It is important to not let these times destroy you or define you, but rather, to help you to grow. I eventually realized that this pain has taught me be to be strong, humble, and bold. This pain is a part of me now, and it always will be.

After my father passed away, I promised myself I wouldn’t continue to live my life in the background- I would do substantial things with my life and make every moment count. You only get one life, live it and love it to the fullest of your ability, and don’t let the hard times break you.

Thank you Papa.

It is not possible to be a great father until a person becomes a great human being. Thank you Papa, you were both. Thank you for every little thing. I miss you. I love you!

Editor's Note:

Share this story to remind ourselves to cherish our loved ones.