My life was a tragedy before I met you. I sank in the sand of my thoughts and let the rain of my emotions devour me. With each day, I was losing more of myself and becoming nothing more than what was expected of me. There were weeks at stretch when I could only fall asleep after my pillow witnessed my heartbreak through the cascade that fell from my eyes.
I did not feel any motivation, any connection or any hope in my life. After losing so many important people over a span of four years, would there be any part of you that would want to feel differently? The feeling of loneliness kept piercing my heart and there was no one who could help me. I had a loving family but the lack of understanding between us could never be bridged. I had caring friends but there was a lack of willingness to connect.
Everything in my life was falling apart. I was on the path of shutting myself from the world. Yet, I was the girl who had the will to not disappoint the ones who still had hopes from her. My body and mind kept going. The smile kept flowing. But it was all a beautiful façade portraying exactly what a breathtaking empty vase would put forth.
The day I met you, I had no idea that you will bring back everything I had lost in the last four years. You came to my life like rain in the time of drought. Starting with letting those huge walls down, we are now in the process of building a beautiful castle around us. I still don’t know what made you think I was special because I know what a mess I was. You made me believe that I was not ordinary. These scars I have are not things to hide but signs of courage to flaunt.
You were patient as I slowly let down my walls. Even when I let you in, my insecurities about myself kept hovering over us like a thunder cloud. You changed the weather over time with your love and kindness. I did not even know that I had in me what it took to be loved so deeply. Your affection changed my thoughts about myself. I stopped seeing myself as a damsel in distress and gained a new respect for myself. I learned to love life again. I learned to love myself again. I learnt to not be harsh on myself. And most importantly, I learnt to love again.
Thank you is not even a word that can describe how grateful I am to you. I did not know that I was capable of having feelings that run so deep that the writer in me falls short of words to describe it. Each minute spent with you has made my life an amazing experience and I feel alive again. You brought back all the happiness that I had lost and you became my home away from the world.
I do not even consider a place home unless you are present there. The feeling of calmness, safety and warmth come to me when you are around. Yet, I do not love you for all the love that you have shown me. I love you every day for a completely new reason.
I love you for being a man we do not get to see in today’s world. It has been a year and a half and sometimes I still wonder if I am living a dream! I know we have our differences at times and I know we have a lot of struggle waiting for us in the future but I am certain that we will make it through because you are now a huge part of my life. You have brought back the motivation I had lost and the happiness that I had not expected to get in life. You must know that no matter what, you are stuck with me, at least for this lifetime.
Yours forever x