Bam! She fiercely shut the door after her. Her teary-eyed image was still stuck in my head, which, no matter what I tried, just won’t go away. So after ten minutes of debating whether to leave her alone or go after her, I chose the latter. I expected she would have locked the door but surprisingly, the door was open and I saw her standing casually standing near the bookshelf.
“Ronita, are you all right?” I called after her, which in response earned me a nod. As I approached her, I wasn’t sure what to expect.
I half expected her to be crying her heart out or just you know, be sad. But she looked totally at peace. And I found that a lot disturbing.
“No Madhav, you listen to me.” With that, she turned, and instead of the teary face, I saw her all calm, composed and determined. She held her chin high and her shoulders were squared, but her eyes gave her away; they were stormed with hurt and sadness.
I don’t know if it’s crazy but I find her a lot more beautiful when she’s upset. It’s just the way her eyes hold so much of emotion at once and show how vulnerable she is that makes me want to hold her close to my heart, forever. I wasn’t ready for her, hell I wasn’t ready for anyone after the betrayal I experienced. But she just came in barging into my life. She never asked for permission; it was just clear that she was there to stay.
Every time I tried to cut her off, she, instead of drifting away from me, would twist my ear until it turned all red. She’s not my girlfriend, she’s also not just a friend… I don’t know what she is to me!
I don’t know if I love her in a romantic way but even the thought of anything happening to her evokes in me a strange sense of protectiveness.
She is just everything to me. I don’t think I can ever place her under a tag. Also, because she was allergic to being tagged. She’s so simple, yet complicated. She thinks she’s so good at lying but she sucks, because her face is so expressive. But the girl in front of me was totally different.
It was after a month that she had come to visit her parents. Although some tension between her parents was evident, it wasn’t after dinner that they had started openly screaming at each other and blaming each other for spoilt food and overdue policies. She tried to ignore them for a few minutes but then, she just lost it, and marched away to her room.
“Rony..” I started, but she cut me off again by raising her hand to stop me from approaching her.
“What happened downstairs… was the reason I left my house, because I couldn’t live between the shouting anymore. I was just like them; shouting was the only way I knew to express anger or any emotion. When I was younger, I thought it happened to everyone but in sixth grade, I came to know that it wasn’t normal and that it was a big deal. It was then that it started suffocating me. My parents love each other they really do, but they just don’t want the same things from life. They are two very different people, which was the major cause of all this.”
Suddenly, all her short-lived relationships came to my mind and suddenly, all that 'I’ll never get married' stuff made sense.
“Rony, is this why you don’t want to get married?” I asked here, which seemed more of a realization to me than a question was. I saw her eyes look straight into mine as she held my gaze and nodded.
Then again she started, “You have two options. Either you walk out of that door right now and forget about me and my messed up life, forever…or you stay and make a promise to be there for me and with me, forever. Honestly, if I were you, I’d choose the first option.” With that, she turned away from me and continued staring at the wall.
What I had to do was very clear to me. As much as I hated her guts, I knew I wouldn’t survive without her.
She was my family, my home. So I did what my heart asked me to do, I went and slowly put my arms around her, the surprised look on her face was a bit hurtful as if she were prepared to say goodbye. But as I kissed her forehead, she said nothing but turned and buried her face in my shoulder.
With that, the promise of a lifetime was made.