This story is for those who run away from failure and mistakes, and try to be perfect in this imperfect world.
My story of failure began in Malaysia when I stepped into the university lifestyle. All through my high school and college, I never failed in my academics or my life on the whole. One of the decisions I took was to pursue Engineering; no points for guessing what happened after that. I failed 7 times in 7 different modules over the course of two years. The first time I got my results, I was working as an intern in an online sales company. I was busy with work when my friend called me and asked me, "Did you check the results?"
I replied, " No! I'm scared."
After a while, I opened my account and checked the results so that I could kill my anxiety. I failed in two subjects, for the first time in my life. I was under extreme pressure then – of failing, of disappointing parents and doubting myself. I still remember I stood up immediately that day and ran towards the lift and went down from the 34th floor.
It was a rainy day. I hated rains, and they further made me sad. So I ran and ran until I stopped to take a breath and check the new email that I just received.
The email said, "You cannot proceed to level 2 of your programme."
That moment, I felt as if my whole world was rushing around me but I stood still. I was broken and devastated. In the heat of that moment, I went to my office and resigned. My boss asked me, "what happened?"
All I could reply was, "Sorry sir, it's time for me to run."
And I quit.
Everything was unclear to me, it was like the fog is around me and there’s no way it could be lifted. The frustration in my heart and restlessness in my mind made me want to go towards the train station.
Once I entered the house, I found the woman I loved, waiting for me. She was there, standing and ready to hug me.
She told, "It's okay to fail, it's okay to fall down even 30 times, and it's okay to let the past go and make new plans for the present." She was the girl I loved and was the only woman in my life who believed me to the core. she moved the world from under my feet and gave everything she could in my life.
I took 6 months break from the academics and started to learn from outside world. I stepped into the world of practicality, analyzing myself and the path I was talking. Four years ago, I wanted to be an Engineer. And now, after introspecting properly, I'm proud to say that I'm a Fine art Photographer. After completing my modules and resuming back my academic life. I told my parents the truth about failing and they had a typical reaction.
They asked me to come back home and that I couldn’t do it. I told them that I wanted to do Media marketing, but clearly, engineering is the stamp of validation in our desi society.
“Beta, Engineering karo, respect milegi. Suck it up! Respect job se nahi insan ke character se aati hai,” were the words I heard everywhere.
So I decided to stay in Malaysia and commit myself to Engineering. Ab toh karke hi nikalna hai.
Now I'm fighting failure with my focus and my hard work. I don’t know whether its a failure of my passion or my academic life, But now, I love to say "I'm going to do it and prove myself."
Failure is not fear, Failure is a way of happiness and happiness is the key to excellence. You may fall 100 times, but during the 101st time, you are going to ride that bicycle like a professional cyclist.
No one is perfect in this world. Learning is always there in our everyday lives. So, try and inspire people with your small stories.
Now My passion is Photography. It shaped my character and made me fearless. It nurtured me and kept me in a comfortable state of mind. So, find your passion and embrace it: be it anything, And don’t forget to thank who stuck by your side during all that. For me, it was the woman I loved, the women I left. She made me what I am today and I'm going to be the best version of myself one day. And this is my promise to her.