I'm Still Uncertain About My Sexuality
( words)
*For representational purpose only.
Although I experimented with modelling last year, I'm a writer by profession. I still consider myself an amateur model. I competed in a virtual pageant called Miss Saree Queen, where I came in second and was given the title of Miss Perseverance.
After this event, my Instagram handle grew significantly, and this year I competed in the Miss Rainbow Pride Grand Finale, winning the title of Best Confidence. I began to get social recognition in my community, and I received proposals from local web firms looking to advertise their sarees. So began my modelling career.
I'd say I'm still uncertain about my sexuality; I could be a bisexual; it's something I'm still trying to figure out.The majority of people mix up the gender with sexual orientation. The preference of attraction that a person has for other/same-sex/gender is known as sexual orientation. The person's gender is defined by how they identify with it. Gender can be male/female/transgender, and sexuality can be straight/gay/lesbian/bisexual, among other choices.
I was aware that I was in the wrong body for a long time. I'd been confused and intrigued since school. By the time I got to college, I had started looking for solutions online, which was quite helpful. Social media was growing, and it left me with a lot of questions and insights. I met and connected with many people in the community and discovered I wasn't alone. I performed well enough in academics to earn a seven-figure salary in 2010.
After working for half a decade, I finally decided to come out of the closet. The announcement did not go well. There were many repercussions in my relationships and my life. I only knew one thing: if I wanted to live a happy life, I had to have my way.
My energy was diverted to this suppressive double life, so I decided to plunge.There was no formal announcement, but in 2013, I began to open up to my friends. I earned a place in their hearts, waited for financial stability, and then began living the life of my dreams when I was mature enough. I even quit my job as an engineer to work as a freelance writer. I acquired various skills, including photography, painting, belly dancing, pageantry, and modelling.
The Hey Foundation's Miss Rainbow Pride pageant took place in Mumbai on March 11th, 2022. It allowed people from all walks of life in the community to engage and walk the ramp.Like the rainbow's colours, the spectrum is comprehensive and distinct. It is open to gay, lesbian, transgender, and androgynous people. There were about 30 finalists who made it to Mumbai; I was fortunate to be one of them since it gave me the experience of being on the runway and in the spotlight.
It allowed me to present myself to the world on a big stage, which I would not have been able to do otherwise. The panel awarded me Best Confidence after I qualified in the top five in my category. Above all, I made many friends and had a lot of memorable experiences that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
My motivation to succeed comes from within. I envision a future version of myself guiding me to glory. I am primarily a calm and collected person who thinks and plans a lot. My goals are divided into long-term, mid-term, and short-term categories. My short-term goals lead to mid-term goals, which lead to long-term goals. When the Miss Rainbow Pride jury asked who my role model was, I said that I see a role model in everyone I meet.
Everyone has something to offer; I consider everyone to be a role model, and the most important role model for me is myself; I am consistently developing, which allows me to be a better version of myself every day.
