I Found Her After Many Heartbreaks But I Had To Let Her Go Too

Anonymous Anonymous in Let's Face It on 29 September, 2017

School life is the best and most memorable phase of anyone’s life.

The things we do and the memories we make during this time are never forgotten. They become the golden moments of our life. Unfortunately, the memorable years of school do not last forever.

I had many friends in school but there was one girl who was extremely close to my heart. She was my only best friend and supported me in everything. As time passed by, we got separated.

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The bond of our friendship could not last in front of the changing times. And slowly, I lost her.

There were many girls who came into my life after her. My first love happened to be a classmate of mine. I don't know how I fell for her but at that time, it seemed like love. After a while, she dumped me. Being a sensitive person, I was extremely heartbroken and planned to commit suicide. But I couldn’t get myself to take such a step. I changed schools and there, I fell for another girl. However, she too broke up with me and I realized that it was my mistake.

I became very lonely and felt dead inside because all my friends had girlfriends. They would go on dates, watch movies, cuddle their girlfriends; it was so difficult for me to tolerate all this and keep my feelings inside.

Then, I came across a girl who would always stare at me while passing by. Eventually, I fell for her and after two weeks of talking to each other, we started dating.

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This time I was very attentive and took take care to avoid every single thing that could possibly hurt a girl.

I was ready to do anything for her. But the good times changed and we also broke up. I then decided to move to Ontario to divert my mind because I couldn’t handle this emotional mess. Life in Ontario was always busy and there was no chance to indulge in any b***s***.

One day, I suddenly found my old best friend from school on Facebook. I couldn’t believe it! I immediately sent her a friend request and she accepted it. We started talking again and soon, our conversations got deeper. I decided to move back to India.

We started meeting often and I realized that I was beginning to develop feelings for her. Was it love? I didn't want tell her anything as it could affect our friendship. I wanted to first confirm if it was just attraction or true love.

Just seeing her and listening to her would make my day. Unfortunately, she was not aware of my feelings.

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It was a purely one-sided affair but I was very happy to just have her by my side.

However, nothing could control my feelings and eventually, I proposed to her. But she said no! I was deeply hurt because she’d made me feel things that no one ever had.

We continued talking and our conversations got deeper with each passing day. Even my love for her kept growing. I realized that I was unable to live without her; she was my lifeline.

She had no feelings for me, which is why she had rejected my proposal. My love was true, and since nothing is more important than love, not even your self-respect, I continued trying. I did everything to make her realize how much I loved her even though she rejected me every single time.

I didn’t give up because my love for her wouldn’t let me survive without her.

Finally, her rejection turned into acceptance! That was the most beautiful day of my life. I felt blessed with all the happiness in the world. I could feel the positive energy of love.

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After all, it was the strong love of a best friend and a girlfriend too!

Our love grew stronger and we couldn’t imagine a life without each other. She would always ask me whether we'd be together after her graduation or get separated. I truly believed that both of us would be together forever. That was the power of our love. And it gave me immense faith in her.

After a while we started arguing a lot, almost every day. It created a big mess every time and left both of us in tears. But we managed to successfully complete a year.

I took care of the smallest thing that could hurt her and ensured that I didn’t repeat any of my earlier mistakes. I loved her so much!

I wanted to spend my whole life with her. I even got her name tattooed on my left hand, which was my surprise for her on her birthday. However, nothing lasts forever. Our love, affection and desire to be with each other started getting affected by many things.

Our little arguments ruined everything between us.
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Today, we have broken up but we still talk to each other. And I continue to love her silently. I know I will not be able to give her the happiness she deserves because I am unlucky. I don't want to ruin her life just because of my passion. I don't have her in my life but I have her tattoo and that makes me feel alive.

It reminds me that I have loved someone with all my heart and that it was my first love.

Not everyone gets to be with the person they love. Maybe my love was meant to be incomplete but I hope that we'll be together, maybe in heaven. I believe someday she'll be happier with someone else.

Just seeing her happy is enough to make me happy. Because that is what love is.